FAVORITE JOKE....? :]?

Who's This Guy

After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter.

Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand.

"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.

He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.

Naturally, the guy began to worry.

"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.

"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.

"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.

"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.

Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."

your 2nd one ive heard before but with, grass and a snake instead of a car and garage. but its still good! A fellow was suffering from constipation, so his doctor perscribed suppositories. A week later he was back at the doctor's complaining his constipation had gotten worse, not better. The doctor asked "Have you been taking the suppositories regularly?" "What do you think I've been doing," said the fellow, "Shoving them up my ***?" An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample." The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "WHAT?" "What did he say? What's he want?" His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear." "Your drinking is beginning to drive your friends and loved ones away from you, making you wish you'd thought of it much earlier." these i think are pretty funny. lol hope you like them!

Two lil girls and a boy got on the school bus and the bus driver noticed the lil boy was crying with a cat in his coat. So the bus driver asked the lil boy, "Why do you have a cat when you know they are not allowed at school?" The lil boy replied, "Because daddy told mama when the kids leave, he's going to eat that kitty."

He he he ha ha. Nasty but funny:)

Whats The Definition of a skeleton?

A stripper that went too far!

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

You're too little to smoke

Judge”You say it was an accident that you shot your wife?”. Defendant:“Yes, your honour. She got in front of my mother – in – law just as I pulled the trigger.

Magician runs into a Hospital and ...?

A magician runs into a hospital and asks at the reception where his assistant is?

The woman at the reception answers 'She's in wards A1 and A2!

asker: A cowboy rides into new york on Friday. He stays for three days, and leaves on Friday. How did he do it??

responder: How? (or another answer)

asker: (answer) Friday was the horse's name!

dont really know if this is funny but.....

Q.)What do you call a guy farmer??

A.) A Jolly rancher

I walked into a bar and said ouch

ok u have to say"i bet u i can make u say blue"

the other person"try"

say what color is (something thats not blue)

they say the color and u say ha told ya i could make u say (that color)

they say no u said i had to say blue

u go see i told ya i could make ya say blue

and there u tricked them

it's not a joke but it will make you laugh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEmss2lg-ug

ahahaha!