Trouble conceiving, Should I stay in the relationship?

Question

Well, I am 25 and my boyfriend is 24.  We have been together almost 3 years now, live together and we are still very much in love. At the start of our relationship we were having a discussion about marriage and he revealed to me that he never intended to get married.  He doesn't see the point as His parents never married and are still together (whereas mine did and divorced) I had always wanted to be married but I have come to realise that its more important to be with someone i really loved than to get married.

Now, recently I went to the doctors and have been diagnosed with PCOS and a 'lazy ovary'.  The doctor then went on to tell me my best chance to have a child was sooner rather than later, and it would be a lot easier for me to try and conceive before I was thirty.  I have always wanted children so naturally I was quite upset to discover this.  My boyfriend wants kids as well but when we discussed it we always said it would be after we were 30 as there a things we both want to do first (travel, buy a house etc) before settling down.  when I told him what the doctor had told me, and that would probably want to start trying for a  baby in the next couple of years (if we were still together obviously!) He got all funny saying we were too young (?) and that he wouldn't be ready still wanted to wait.  I said what if by the time he wants to have children I can't - he said 'oh we can just adopt' which is great but I at least would like to try to have a kid of my own.

I love him very much but i feel by staying with him I am having to miss out on two things that I have always wanted.  I don't know what to do.

*Magnolia* · Accepted Answer

do what u feel u really want ,
but
i know i would definitely would want 2 b married especially if i wanted kids i'd say so long

Sprite · Answer

You need to do some serious thinking, and search yourself to see what direction you want to go.  Personally, I do not know why women will "settle" for not being married before having children.  That is every man's dream.  He has it all and is still free to roam.  Do you KNOW that his parents are not married?  He may be telling you he wants kids just to keep a good thing going.  It  just may be that you are very much in love with him, but he is not as into the relationship as you are.  He is in charge.  Worrying about your time clock is NOT a good idea to try and get pregnant, especially without a committed relationship.  There will be many issues to solve that face you.  There is always in vitro when you are really ready. If you stay with him this way, you will eventually come to resent him because of these issues.   It it were me, I would ditch him and hold my head high, hold myself in high esteem, and hold out for a good solid relationship.with mutual goals.  Good luck too you.

noitall · Answer

You've got to decide what YOU want, in your heart of hearts.  If it's marriage and children, you need to tell him that.  If he won't budge, that's not healthy and shows you alot about what marriage with him would be like.

♨ Wisper ► · Answer

Chase two hares you'll catch neither.

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Trouble conceiving, Should I stay in the relationship?

4 Answers