Please help me to understand if you can - How can a man negate his own children?

Ehh I wish I knew for sure.

I am in a similar situation but in my case it is the mom and dad who bailed. I have told them the best I can but it never really answers their questions. All I can do is show them that I love them and teach them what love is.

Which leaves me to answer Mr Johan...sorry I shouldn't jack this question but I gotta add this.

Mr Johan,

No matter what, your kid wants to know. As a kid who was left by my mom I always wanted to know. I have spent a good chunk of my life wondering what it was about me that she didn't love, despite many people telling me otherwise...that it wasn't my fault. Hell I am 34 and while I have resolved to know whatever her reasons were won't change anything, I still want to know. At the very least I want to know who she is as a person. I still wonder what parts of me are from her. Anyway just something to think about. (((JB)))

I am going to put this out there because society hides this very very real fact of life. IF YOU DIVORCE A MAN, HE WILL NOT BE THERE FOR THE KIDS. Men I have noticed t blank out on the old family after a divorce, so women if you are going to d-i-v-o-r-c-e really get this cause most live in the disney world that it will happen some other way. Thats an urban legend unfortunately. The next wife and those kids will reap your ex. Thats reality.

Any boy can make a baby it takes a real man to be a father. I have a dad that I have not seen since I was a freshman in high school. The only thing is I can say to what makes a man do this is that they are not a man.

If the child feels hatred toward their father I would say it not hate just disrespect.

Simple answer: he's not a man at all. He's a little boy. The best thing to tell your kids is that mommy and daddy are having problems that have *nothing* to do with them. I know it's a cop-out, but what can ya do?

Sorry to know that you're going through this, and best of luck to your babies and to you :)

Edit: Mr. Johan, I can't imagine that a kind, intelligent, wise man such as you could be a disappointment to anyone - stop beating yourself up. Just wanted to say that :)

i think of you're making some very valid and interesting factors. it is comparable to once you hear a male instructor has a courting together with his woman student - that instructor is shamed via the community and locked up, no questions. a woman instructor does an identical element with a male student. and he's slapped on the lower back for conquering this older lady, and probably, she could get some months or a 300 and sixty 5 days of reformatory time, and a few community provider. For the different stuff, I comprehend it is no longer undemanding, and it would not make lots of expertise whilst written out, yet i think of maximum human beings take the "extra advantageous risk-free than sorry" attitude, and on an identical time as the lady you stumble upon on a gloomy highway at night could attack and rob you too, there is way less threat with it. and human beings do no longer opt to take any possibility with their young infants, so as that they finally end up particularly enjoying it risk-free there, in spite of the shown fact which you're one hundred% superb it is no longer undemanding, because of the fact that there are lots of adult men who like infants and opt to artwork with them, yet at the instant are not something on the factor of being a pedophile. At any fee, whenever you permit every physique watch your infants, you're able to comprehend them, take a seat in on the 1st time your toddler is being watched via them, and be sure you run a heritage examine. i do no longer care if it is a guy or lady. i do no longer think in any respect whilst it includes infants that there could be too lots precaution.

there are many reasons why a man would deny his kids.

1 A doubt that they are his

2. A time and energy that they require he is not willing to sacrifice

3 Some people are born to live their life for themselves and not for the kids. and there is nothing you can do to convince him otherwise

and to the kids you say a simple thing

"There are millions of kids who's fathers died or abandoned them in the young age. and A lot of them made it through life pretty much ok so they can not rely on anyone and specially on love from someone"

hope it helps

My dad did the same thing as I was growing up. He was never there. Left my family when I was 7. It must be hard to know what to say as a mother. I honestly guess I would just try to keep him out of their lives to prevent any more pain. I wish my mom would have done that for me.

Well, I have made no secret of the fact that I have a daughter out there somewhere, and that I have never been a part of her life. I cannot say anything to explain things better than to say that I truly feel her life has been better for my absence. What could I add to her life? It isn't any plus for her to know her biological father is HIV+, bisexual, etc. She has had a man who has raised her and loved her all these years, and I am certain that, to her, he is her true father. The biological connection with me is nothing upside that.

I don't know how else to explain myself. Let her think her biological father is someone of note; it would be the greatest disservice to present myself to her and be, after all these years of whatever questions she has had....a vast disappointment.

my son just turned 4, he has no idea I'm his real dad. I checked on him last year to make sure his step dad was decent.

I'm still trying to get past the dysfunctional hatred of his mother..

I realize I made a huge mistake, but I hope it doesn't turn out to be the worst in my life, because right now, I feel indescribable

my kids went threw this exact thing. We divorced when they were young at first he got them on his weekend..then monthly...then not at all. He would say he would show then didn't. I would just tell them oh well, nothing we can do about it so lets go have some fun. I already knew he was a jerk and figured in time the kids would see it too.

My kids are now 28 and 26 and they see what I already knew. I didn't have to bad mouth him and I wouldn't not make excuses for him. In time they see for themselves.