how to politely talk to my friend with a new baby?

This is going to sound very strange and is hard to fathom, but when you have a baby that is sick, nothing else matters. The world is surrealistic and you become so consumed with fear and worry and anxiety with a large mix of overwhelming love, joy, that nothing really gets through.

The best way to approach this is to put the idea of going out on a shelf for a good long while. Ask your friend if you can visit the baby, maybe be with the baby for a while in the hospital so she can take a break for a few minutes. Ask her if you can go in and take some pictures of her and her baby! Wow!

Buy her a small gift that celebrates the strength and tenacity of her baby. Let her know how proud you are of her for being such an amazing mother, and how proud you are of her baby for having such strength.

Hug her, let her know that you don't know what she's going through, but that if she needs anything - any time of day or night - you'll be there for her.

Call her a few times a week to let her know you're thinking of her, and to ask her how she and her baby are doing. Keep in touch, but for them right now, not for you. Try to keep your troubles and any non-critical bad news close to your heart for a while.

I hope this is helpful and I hope for nothing but health and happiness for you, your friend, and her beautiful little baby.

I agree with other answers and as a mother of former NICU preemies I can tell you her life may not ever be the same. Six months in the hospital means this baby has severe issues. Be a good friend by being supportive and understanding. I suggest you visit her in the hospital,bring her some lunch, the hospital cafeteria gets old fast, and maybe a small gift for the baby. A baby picture frame, photo album or small stuffed animal would be appropriate.

Like the other comments say give her some time. babies are very precious to mothers, and when they are ill that's when it breaks mothers apart. If this infant is in the hospital, the mother wants to be with the infant every second. If I were you I would just take it easy with her, maybe ask if you could go to the hospital with her for support, so you can see what she is going through. When the baby gets better she will then have time to talk, and go out for alittle.

Ignore the people leaving mean comments... It is obvious you meant well however yes if the baby is still in the hospital something is very wrong and being a mom who had a baby in the NICU I know that I was so worried about my baby I could think of nothing else and anytime I did I felt like a bad mom for not thinking about him... Your friend probably did not mean to hurt you she is just so upset that she is lashing out... I did the same thing... But you need to try and understand what she is going through... Do not look for an apology from her cause she will rip you up more she did b4... But maybe go buy a stuffed toy for the baby and ask how you can help be as sensitive to her as possible... and if you cannot be sensitive to her I suggest you stay away til her baby is better or you will loose her as your friend forever there is nothing more scary than a mom protecting her young and that is in a away what she was doing by biting your head off at least in her eyes anyways... So take interest in the baby more than distracting your friend with grown up things like going out to eat cause trust me she is not interested. All she wants is for her baby to get better offer to pray for her baby to get better even most people who do not believe in God like to hear that...

bosox and shirley are right... Oh and the whole hug and food things I might hold off on I know I wanted nothing to do with food and as far as hugs go you know your friend if she needs it give if you are not sure don't try my mom did and I don't know why but her hugging me at that time made me mad at her... so be very cautious and very sensitive...

And good luck and if you need anyone to talk to you can catch me on myspace.... http://www.myspace.com/fields_of_the_fallen

She won't get back to life normally at the drop of a hat. You probably will not be able to hang out one on one until baby is safely and healthily home. Her mind would be going 300 miles a minute being away from her sick baby to even consider going out. That would be selfish. If you want to hang with her so bad, bring her lunch at the hospital and talk at the cafeteria. That's the best way to keep in touch with her, and her keep in touch with the outside world. Be considerate of a mothers sorrow. And make sure your not rattling off everything she is missing. Make sure she gets things that have been on her mind off her chest first.

Good luck.

I think its sweet you care about her. But, she is wrapped up in her baby. It has got to be hard having your baby still in the hospital after six months. Wow. That is just a long time.

If you really want to take her out, ask her to go to the cafeteria with you. That way you can have a dinner and she can be close to the baby. Or, even better - bring in her favorite dinner - and eat it in the cafeteria. She needs to be by her baby.

First off, you need to realize how wrong you were. She has a critically ill child who will most likely have health problems for the rest of his life, and all you could focus on is having your pre - baby friend back for some "personal" time. My son was premature, albeit not nearly as premature as your friends, but enough that I can sympathize with her. She needs you to be supportive of what's going on, not try to drag her out so that you can pal around.

Apologize to your friend for your insensitivity. Show an interest in the baby; no matter how sick he is, she surely loves him and is very proud of him. If she wants to show you pictures, smile and tell her how beautiful he is. Don't ask questions - really, don't. They will most likely come out as very insensitive. Instead, let her know that you are there for her. Offer to take care of errands and things around the house for her so that she can be with the baby. Let her know that if nothing else, you are a shoulder on which she can cry.

The best thing to do is to back off until the baby is better.

Hanging out with friends and family is the last thing on her mind while her baby is in the hospital.

Really? You needed advise with this situation? I'm sure you miss your friend, but a child in the hospital is pretty traumatic and, yes, time consuming. She is a parent now, her life will never be the same. It's amazing that you sound genuinely surprised with this.

perhaps visit her in the hospital, i wouldnt want to leave my baby there alone either....her hormones are still raging, she's worried sick in a way that you can't understand if you don't have kids, so just cut her some slack and go visit her there...after you make sure that it is ok by phone...