I feel terrible I cannot live with myself?

you need a hug

You did not do this on purpose and accidents happen. With that said just be more careful and learn by the mistakes. It is unfortunate and very sad these animals had to die. Birds will try to fly through anything they can see in. Mirrors, windows as they think they can go right on through. Either get wings clipped or cover all windows and mirrors when let out to fly. Just have to be more careful. Sorry for your loss.

You said that it was an accident when the goldfish died. You didn't mean to cause it's death and you feel bad about it. First, I suggest trimming your pet birds' wings so they won't be able to fly around and get killed. Then I suggest you try to forgive yourself so you can move on and be in peace. I''m sure the goldfish would forgive you if he could. There may be a nice pet out there who is looking for someone to love, and that you could be the right person for the pet. Please don't let that incident prevent you from owning another pet. Learn from the experience, and move on.

Put blinds on the damn windows and keep them closed when the birds are out!

Just be more careful. Place stickers, or something on the windows. To them it looks like an open window.

or clip their wings

none of these seem to be your fault except the goldfish... your mum was probably just angry and didnt mean it and part of owning pets is the fact that they all die some time or another so dont feel bad, it happens to everyone.

I think you should not have any pets anymore. Until a few years and yuo think you are ready to have another pet then go ahead and get one.