I need a really good joke?

I have a couple:

Why did tigger look in the toilet?

He was looking for pooh!

Two blondes were shopping at the mall. When they were done, they went out to their car, which happened to be an awesome leather-interior convertible, but they realized they had locked the keys in the car. So they both kind of stood there and thought for a while.

Then one of the girls had the bright idea to try to open the car with a coat hanger, so she started fiddling with the lock. The other blonde looked up at the sky, became very worried, and pleaded,

"HURRY, HURRY, IT'S GOING TO RAIN AND WE LEFT THE TOP DOWN!"

Another one could be

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.

He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.

"OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.

Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.

Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.

"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

"Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

"Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as hell didn't!"

ok lemme try:

A guy goes hunting into the woods when all of a sudden he see a gorgeous, beautiful, naked woman. The woman says "I'm game" so... he shoots her.

hope this works good luck!!

My brother made this one up: "Did you hear that those two insurance companies merged? Yeah. I believe it was 'Progressive' and 'Statefarm'. Now the one company is called 'Prostate'."

It made me giggle.

Kay

So 2 atoms are walking together and one says, "I just lost and electron." The other one says, "Are you sure?" He replies, "I'm positive!"