Would you / Do you force your child to go visit his other parent?

This is a hard place for you to be. You are going to have to tell his dad how he feels, and let his dad deal with it. You don't need to force him, but let his father tell him why visiting him is a good idea. Don't become the villain. Let the two of them express how they feel to each other and work on a compromise. This way, your son's father doesn't think that it's something you said, or did. It seems like your son is intelligent enough to telll you how he feels, and he now needs to tell his father how he feels.

Since you mentioned a room mate, I would ask him what he thinks of dad's room mate. Find out if that's a problem. And if so - is there any way one of you could afford a hotel room for a few days?

I know that 6 hours is a long way. But I am leaning toward the idea of seeing if you would be able to take Wednesday off work if necessary. If so - tell your son that dad wants to see him really bad. Tell him that if he will go visit his dad for a couple of days, you can go get him on Tuesday night or Wednesday if he still isn't having fun.

If I tried that and my kid still didn't want to see the other parent - I would try to negotiate with the other parent. See if we could meet half way over the weekend for an adventure at a park or something. But I would not pick up my kid and force her to go kicking and screaming.

That is a difficult situation. My son is 4 and although he doesn't know what's best for him he hates going to his dads. I have to make him go though (court order). He doesn't kick yet but he cries like he is heart broken when I have to drop him off and won't talk to me for a while when he comes back.

I feel your pain and though I think 4 or even 6 is to young to decide for themselves I see it through my sons eyes and there is a reason why he doesn't want to go if it was wonderful there he would want to go.

I think they should be able to decide personally and if the away parent wants to see them rather than the child being out of sorts they should step up and come to where the child is to try to keep them comfortable.

First, look into the situation. Make sure nothing dangerous is going on. If you know your child is not at risk to be harmed in anyway, yes, you should make him go. Yes, that means carrying him, kicking and screaming, to the truck.

My kids were like that a lot, too. Your child lives with you, you are his comfort and his strength. He doesn't have that close bond with his father, so he obviously doesn't want to be away from you. However, he needs to spend time with his dad so that they CAN continue to build their relationship. I know it's dreadfully difficult to FORCE him to spend time with his father, but you really have to do it. Try to make it a little easier on both of you. Remind him that daddy loves him and really misses him. That daddy is really looking forward to seeing him again and you know how much fun they'll have together. Reassure him that you'll be okay while he's gone (it's amazing how much our kids actually worry about US!) and that you'll be ever so happy to see him again when he comes home. Let him know he can call you while he's away.

He needs to see his dad... unless he is in danger if he goes. Let him know that you will call him every night before bed ( and then make sure you do), and talk about exactly how many days he will be gone. Play up the fun things he can do with his dad, rather than the fact that you will miss him.

I " forced" my kids to spend every second weekend with their dad until they were about 15 or so. My daughters chose to stay at home after that age( and make plans to see their dad at other times), but my son kept going a couple of years longer.

Six is most definitley NOt old enough to make that decision. Be strong... it will be in your son's best interest in the long run

Is his Dad harming him in any way? he may just be nervous because he is used to being around you all the time and will be away from you for an extended period of time. As long as his father is not harming him, let him go. He will miss you and I know you'll miss him, but he needs to spend time with his Daddy.

On that note, since he hasn't seen him in awhile, let him warm back up to his Dad while you are there. Don't just drop him off at the doorstep and take off...that's not right. He'll eventually feel more comfortable with him.

My oldest whines every now and then about going (it's every other weekend and a 40 minute drive). My ex is a great father and my son's whining is purely based on not wanting to be in the car and leaving his things for the weekend. He does not have a choice. The relationship between he and his father is as important as the one he has with me so unless his dad starting neglecting/abusing him, he's gonna go.

If there is no abuse going on at dad's house, then you should treat this as you would want dad to treat it if your son was having a good time there and didn't want to come back to your house.

You two are his parents & should be showing each other respect in his life. You should be working together to help him to deal with changes that he's not comfortable with, if you know that they are in his best interest.

i do not believe 6 years is old enough to make that decision. i know it may be hard for you, but unless there is a really good reason you dont want him around his father, you should let him go. he needs to build that relationship with his father and they have to start somewhere. your son is probably just scared and once he gets there and starts 'having fun/relaxes', im sure he'll be ok and maybe even be glad he went. just sit down and have a good talk with him about it and maybe tell him that once he gets there if he really doesnt like it he can come home. i highly doubt that will happen.

if they aren't being harmed tehn it's not fair to the other parent- as i know for experience you don't really have a choice until you're like 12- a 6 year old only does thing for the fun of it most of the time- if it's not fun and there are too many rules he's not going to want to go. have you assked him why he doesn't want to go- ask him to give you a GOOD reason