Blonde Jokes anyone ?

A Blonde walks into a shop and points to the tv she wants to buy. The assistant replies "I'm afraid we don't sell to blondes."

So the next day the blonde covers her hair with a hat and goes in the shop and says "I want to buy that tv" and again the assistant tells her that he doesn't sell to blondes.

So the next day after shaving all her hair off she goes into the shop and says "I want to buy that tv." And yet again the assistant tells her that he doesn't sell to blondes"

"I've shaved off all my hair! How do you know I am blonde!!!"

"Because thats a microwave!"

If a blond and a brunette jumped off a building at the same time, which would land first?

The brunette, because the blond had to stop to ask for directions.

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BLONDE JOKES? BECAUSE WHAT ELSE HAVE JEALOUS BRUNETTES GOT TO DO ON A FRIDAY NIGHT WHILST BLONDES ARE OUT HAVING FUN !!

;-)

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum

deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the

woman

they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde

assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this

store

on a regular basis and would like some more.

"I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "We don't have any!"

"But I always buy it here," says the blonde

"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks

the pharmacist.

"YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who

ooks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm

deodorant"

Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out

loud

from the container......... .

>

>> . (Wait for it).

>>

>> ..

>>

>> ..

>>

>>

>> "TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."

;-)

What did the blonde say about blonde jokes?

She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto

Ricans.

Did you hear about the blonde who couldn't wait to see "20,000

Leagues Under The Sea?"

She said that she loved baseball, and was surprised that there

were so many teams.

Why did the blonde stand in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?

She wanted to see what she looked like sleeping.

Why did the blonde close her eyes in front of the mirror?

She wanted to see herself sleep!!

Why couldnt the blonde dial 911?

She couldnt find the 11!

=D

+_+

I know another like the first one:

How do you drown a blonde?

Stick a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

But that one is kinda old ;)

-Olivia<333

There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.

i once knew a blonde who tried to kill a bird by throwing it off a cliff.

how do you keep a blonde busy?

get her in a round room and tell her to sit in her corner.

Joke 1:

there were three blonds driving in a car to disneyland. they came to a sign, it said "Disneyland left," so they went home.

Joke 2:

there once was a blonde and she just got hired to be a cash register at a candy store.

so a customer comes up to her and asks, "How much is this lolly pop?"

she says, "I dunno Mr."

the customer leaves and the boss comes up to her and says, "No, ur suppose to say $0.50"

"Okay"

another customer comes up to her.

Customer: "How much is this lolly pop?"

Blonde: "$0.50"

Customer: "Is it fresh?"

Blonde: "I don't know ma'am"

the customer, again, leaves

Boss: "No! ur suppose to say yes!"

Blonde: "Okay"

another customer comes in

Customer: "How much is this lolly pop?"

Blonde: "$0.50"

Customer: "Is it fresh?"

Blonde: "Very Fresh"

Customer: "Should I buy is?"

Blonde: "I dunno kid"

for the third time the customer leaves

Boss: "Ugh! your suppose to say YES!"

Blonde: "Okay"

so she does well and everything goes like that for a while, until one day a robber comes into the store.

Robber: "Put ur hands up! Blondy, how much money's in the cash register!"

remembering what her boss told her she replied "$0.50"

Robber: "are you playing fresh with me!"

Blonde: "Very fresh"

Robber: "You think i'm gonna buy this!"

"Yes"

the robber left.

okay so that joke was long and maybe not too funny to u but i liked it..:) Breaking Dawn was awesome.