Would you marry a long-term BF who asked you to sign a pre-nuptial agreement?

Question

Let's say you fell in love with a physically good looking man with a good personality who earned 100K or 200K or 500K, etc, and he loved you too. 

Let's then say that he asked you to sign a pre-nuptial agreement, because he's afraid that if YOU choose to dump him, you won't destroy his finances and destroy his incentive to keep his career going. Would you marry him and sign it? Let's even say that the pre-nup says that if he cheats or leaves you, you can have half, but you get little to nothing if you leave or file for divorce, is this acceptable to you? Since 80% of women are the ones who file in divorce, it seems reasonable for a man to shield himself from women who are out for NOTHING else but the money as as future source of potential income for the woman she might seek, without her putting in the work like the man did.

Let's not kid ourselves. Sitting on your rump at home or doing little chores like picking up toys or dusting off books is not equivalent to that same man working 13 hours a day (including commute) in Manhattan working as a lead Software Architect in a Fortune 100 firm. It really is not. Hell, raising kids and not working every day facing demanding clients or project managers......AND not facing extreme pressures to work smarter, is EASIER than doing 13 hours of work making 100K with the rigid, CRIPPLING stress of a job like that, I know because that is the job I do. Hence, without a pre-nup agreement, the man who worked harder/provided/pulled more weight should not have to pay half just like he did the same work in the marriage like the woman who had ALL HER BILLS PAID FOR HER if she chose to not work or even to work less with the comfort of her man's salary. And if a man EARNED the money before he met her, it seems quite crazy for the women to get a share of his subsequent cash and possessions since he was capable of earning and ACTUALLY EARNED the money before he met her. Your thoughts? Remember, in this pre-nuptial agreement, she gets half if the man cheats or files for divorce, and little to nothing otherwise. 

Also, would signing a pre-nup, especially a pre-nup structured in the way above, assure the man that the marriage is strictly only for love and not for material things in case of her own dissolution?

Ersa · Answer

Personally, I wouldn't marry a man who didn't trust me or know me well enough to trust me. Insisting that I sign the pre-nup would just be a demonstration of the lack of trust.

And I sort of disagree that the guy with the high paying salary does more than the woman. I mean, isn't raising responsible, functional adults (the future of the country) more important than bringing home the bacon? Actually, they are kind-of equally important. And I'd hope that this guy would take his role as father seriously, and hopefully the woman at least gets a part time job once the babies don't need her 24-7 (to keep her sanity as much as to help pay the bills).

The pre-nup may keep women away who are just after the guy's money, but it doesn't assure that the marriage is strictly for love. Nothing can assure that.

Epona S · Answer

I don't know if I would. I would for sure be insulted. If you think I am capable of doing such a crappy thing and I am untrustworthy unscrupulous person please don't ask me to marry you. 

I can take care of myself now, if the relationship ended I could care for myself again. 

I agree that any money earned before the marriage should be off limits, and any real amount of money should only be given to the wife if there are kids involved and she will be the primary caregiver. The money should be to help them be comfortabe and have the things they need.

You sound a little disgruntled..

Anonymous · Answer

Guess you haven't gotten that therapy we suggested yet. Still bitter, I see.  EDIT : You were sad and unemployed a couple of weeks ago. I guess you're just a provacateur.

I would have given anything to be able to go to work instead of staying home with our violent, explosive, mentally ill daughter. I never wanted to stop working. 

I also would've given anything if my CEO husband would've taken a lower paying job and come home every night. The money and lifestyle weren't worth it.

The pre-nup wasn't necessary. I left with nothing. I didn't want it.

Queen of Denial · Answer

Dude, if you are talking about yourself, you need a reality check.  Since when is raising children and taking care of a house "easy?"   If you think that all a stay-at-home mom does is a little dusting and picking up toys, your head is squarely up your @ss.   

I hope the woman in question (if she doesn't hit you first) takes the document to her lawyer.   They will probably tell her that it needs to be re-written to protect HER as well.

Get on some meds and forget matrimony.

.. · Answer

I would and if I had the money, I would ask for my partner to sign one. The 'Bad Boy' (cheating) clause is the thing that will be all the protection you need financially.  If it's good enough for Catherine Zeta Jones...LOL!

isa · Answer

Yes

notmyfirstrodeo · Answer

Not a chance that I would sign it. Nor a chance that I would be dating such a narrow minded pompous idiot such as the one described above.

Happily together 20+ years.

Anonymous · Answer

I think prenups are wrong because to me they display an expectation of divorce.  I wouldn't want to go into a marriage where your bride or groom were expecting to divorce you one day.

kungfu_ketchup · Answer

If the man I was going to marry couldn't trust me or know me enough to know that I'm not that type of person, no. Absolutely not.

Little Miss Cant Be Wrong · Answer

I would NOT marry anyone who did not trust me enough to know that I am not that kind of person, who would marry just for money!

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Would you marry a long-term BF who asked you to sign a pre-nuptial agreement?

13 Answers