People always talk about “True Love” but when is “True Love” truly true love…?

Is it a passionate love, the one that wipes you up your feet and quickly makes you desire the other person more and more, you want them 24/7 and your relationship is based on attraction.

Is it the compromising love, the one where you have known each other for some years and know that you could happily live together for the future although there is no real passion or interest.

Is it the opposite love, where one is the exact opposite of the other, so you are continuously entertained and surprised by each other but you also complete what each other lack.

or is it the “one of a kind” love when it almost feels like you two are one of a kind as you have so much in common and you share most passions and interests.

I guess the truth is that there are a million different kind of loves but only we are in charge when we have to make the decision of what it’s better for us and what truly makes us feel happy.

So do we just keep trying? Give everyone a chance, and what will that make us?

From relationship to relationship? Just risk getting your heart broken over and over…but also when is enough really enough?

Inevitably I still feel like I need some guidance.

I’ve tried to be selective at the beginning of my “dating”, going just for who I knew I really liked but I soon realised that people are not always what they seem so after taking a little break to recover from, yet another bad relationship, I decided to put myself in this so called game.

Be open minded and also open to new encounters, what I was about to find out was not exactly what I thought … I fell in a crazy triangle with my friends.

I started something with one, purely by attraction, just to realise that perhaps now that with my new theory I had got to know them, I was actually interested in the other one, the one that at first I probably would not have considered for a relationship. Realising once again that you cannot judge a book by it’s cover, I started falling for this friend, I started caring, trusting and relying on him, I found myself thinking about him everyday and not only I was really attracted but we had so much in common.

I felt…. it felt great! I was truly happy!

I fell deeper and deeper and before I knew it I had the biggest crush in my life…I was in love!

I didn’t know where I stood and I guess none of us really said what we felt. All of this left me confused, and I ended up making two mistakes along the line. When I finally realised that I was only fooling myself, I decided to stop playing the game, I knew what I wanted and that was him. So I poured my heart out for the first time ever…only to find out I lost him….and also two brilliant friends.

I was alone!

What went wrong? Was I just a piece in their game? or did I simply bite more than what I could eat?

So that is when I started questioning, which one is the True Love, my prospect on love had changed but nothing else had changed, the end of the story was the same…I was heartbroken, again!

I am tired of risking over and over again, I really need some reassurance!

Maybe there should be a manual to follow where you know exactly what you are and what you are not suppose to do, so that we can tick all the right boxes and figure out what love suits us. Because that, …that would save us a lot of hassle and pain.

I do believe in learning from your mistakes, but it’s not the same when you are playing with someone’s heart and feelings!

I am tired of not knowing, tired of making mistakes in love and of playing in what, to me, seems a very cruel game!

I want to find my true love but how? If …I’m too scared to risk it all over and put myself out there again!