What to do about moms boyfriend?

Question

Okay so my mom is dating this guy. He`s been around for like 7 years,about a year after my dad died. Hes like my father figure i guess. He loves me and my syblings, 2 brothers, 1 sister, and my mom. He has anger issues and sometimes it scares me when he fights with my mom.But he is a pretty good guy..well hes also a alcoholic. Lately he has been drinking every night, And he asks me to borrow money all of the time, for beer and stuff. And hes also asked me to borrow money for bills. I paid for thanksgiving dinner this year. But they pay me back over time. its the beer part that makes me mad.Anyways he tells me that I cant hang out with boys or have a boyfriend until i am 18, but i have one i just dont tell him about it. My mom knows about it, she is laid back and we just keep it from him. When i tell my friends that my moms boyfriend wont let me date they are like he has no control over you and stuff like that...

I dont really know what to say about that
But i try to live up to his standards so much and he still wants more
like i get good grades and everything
and when he confronts me of like smoking weed and stuff i get really mad and tell him that all i do is try to please him and be up to his standards and hes like i dont care if you get mad because i am the parent and you are just a child.

Well that really makes me angry!
Yeah I may be a child but that doesnt mean that i dont have feelings
and im getting really sick of him!
Like im starting to hate him!
And he has beat my mom before, a longg time ago but he has changed his ways, but that still gets on my nerves
Whenever he is home i stay in my room because i cant stand him
and my older sister hates him
He caused my older brother to move out
and my little brother hates him
Like i dont want to hate him because i no he really does love me
Hes overprotective but im almost 16 and he needs to realize that im not a lttle girl anymore!

mυм2AngelGaвriεL · Accepted Answer

the best thing would be for you to speak to your mum and tell her your not happy.

Tell him to stop drinking every night - You and your mum stand up to him and have a police officer or someone who can protect you if a fight happens. Because the family is in danger, Once a man lays a finger on a woman he has no problem doing it again..it can happen.

Remember put yourself and your family first. Your mum should relise that he needs to change. Tell your mum all the problems when he isnt there. Ignore him when you need to. he is your mums bf but he isnt your dad or ever will be. Tell him that to his face.

He is your mums boyfriend and that doesnt make him your father.
im sorry about the loss of your father as well.

Keep strong - You do your best 
But make sure your wants are out on the open and heard

God bless x

Jon C · Answer

Just ignore him; anyhow his is not your step father yet? Hold a family discussion with your Sibling. Tell your mom all your negative feeling towards this man. Beg your mom to leave him. Tell your mom to get him move out of the house. 

Hey a man who is an alcoholic, how good will he is. Even he is showing his concern and loves to you guys. But at the end of the day he is still an outsider. I don't think by getting an alcoholic to replace your late father is the right choice after all.

He should set a good example for himself, before commenting and giving you guys the right advises of how to behave.

If he really want to prove how much he love all of you as a family. Then he should get rig all his bet habits and scarify which ever he need to. Show his full support and give encouragement whoever need it in your family.

Cheer up!

sam · Answer

Maybe you just need to talk it over with him.  I mean, he is like your father, so it's understandable why you feel what you feel towards him.  I think you guys should get him help.  Maybe have him go to rehab or something for his drinking b/c that's probably the main reason why he's the way that he is (the part of him that you guys all hate).  Otherwise, your Mom really needs to make a decision and either marry him or kick him to the curb so you guys won't be so confused anymore, especially b/c they've already been together for this long.

Just~Me · Answer

Don't let him borrow anymore money for beer. If it's for food or something that is good then it's fine. But, don't give him money for beer.

You are16, but still a minor so he has a right to be worried for you. He does have some issues I must agree. But, don't forget, no one is perfect. If your mom can maybe talk to him about your feelings do you think that would work?

tincan62 · Answer

wow

Anonymous · Answer

Well said, dear. Feel better?

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What to do about moms boyfriend?

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