Why do some men insist on working with a woman they lust over?

He totally has the hots for her, and I don't think they should work in the same department. When you spend a lot of time with someone you really like things tend to grow. Feelings or physical.

I used to work with my boyfriend, I don't any more. There was this woman that worked on his team, and also in a different state. Any time she would come to our office they had to work together. Strictly work though I understood that. But after she always wanted to go out and party after work. She would touch him and hang all over him, and he let her do it. He never did anything back, but he never stopped her. She also did this with a lot of other guys at work. Just a big flirt. The final straw was when she told me that she liked me because I let her hang all over my man. So I told him that he had to make her stop or I was calling Human Resources, and leave him. So he sat her down and told her that she was being inappropriate, and if she ever touched him again they could not work together. So she was really mad at me, but I didn't care. He's my man not hers. Come to find out she's been having an affair with some other guy in her office.

I say if it keeps going on call his home office, and report it to human resources. They can't carry on like that at work or at work functions.

I'd also leave his azz.

Maybe I'm weird but none of that sounds so awful to me. Are you're sure you're not reading too much into his actions due to jealousy? I'm mean, ok, let's examine this...

1. He looked at her admiringly when she showed up to a party looking hot. Well, duh. He's male, straight, and not dead. Expecting him not to glance at an attractive woman is unrealistic.

2. He complimented her. In front of you, ie, he wasn't trying to hide it. This tells me that he saw the compliment as an innocent thing, just one friend telling another they look nice.

3. He called her sweetie. Ok, probably the most questionable of all his actions, but again, he did it in front of you, which isn't something a guy who's trying to cover up a crush would do. Again, this probably means he meant it in a friendly way and didn't think it would upset you. (I call a lot of my friends sweetie, it's totally platonic and means nothing.)

4. He called her about a business issue. Uh, yeah, people do that. next?

And so the issue is that he wants to transfer to a facility that is closer to his home, which to be honest sounds reasonable to me. And you really think his real reason is that this other girl works there? No offense, but that sounds really paranoid. This isn't the advice you asked for, but if you really want to marry this guy then you have some trust issues that the two of you need to work out first. Either you take him at his word that he really is just friends with this girl, and honestly just want to work closer to home... or you find someone else who you DO trust.

Desperation?

I know hetero male friends who are like this and it's kinda weird. I had one friend in highschool who took a lower paying job just so he could work with his girlfriend and of course it all went bad and when they wound up breaking up or he'd hit on other women there at work things got messy.

I'm a queer male and I once did date a guy who I worked with for a short period of time and I will NEVER do this again mainly because we would see each other on the weekend and then daily at work too and I'd tell him how we had to keep work/our relationship separate and he didn't do this at all and he'd grope me during meetings and at first it was sexy but I told him how we can't do that and he didn't stop and I got mad.

Is this guy your BF/husband? I'd be worried that he was dipping his pen in the company ink and having an affair if I were you.

He's a man whore. Dump him before you get hurt.