Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and beginning April 20th, 2021 (Eastern Time) the Yahoo Answers website will be in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.

Loads of small jokes for you enjoy and be happy.?

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values.

Stu said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'

Leroy replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'

---------------------------------------------------------

A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?'

The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.'

---------------------------------------------------------

'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court

Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'

'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and

then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'

---------------------------------------------------------

A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took

the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'

'Me neither doc,' said the husband.

'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'

-----------------------------------------------------------

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has

been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that

were used to put the curse on you.'

The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'

----------------------------------------------------------

Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:

1. The DNA all matches.

2. There are no dental records.

----------------------------------------------------------

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take

to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'

The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'

'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.

----------------------------------------------------------

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

'How was he killed?' asked one detective.

'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied.

'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?'

'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.'

-----------------------------------------------------------

Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'

Joe: 'Really?'

Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.'

----------------------------------------------------------

A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks

him how he is feeling.

'I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered.

'What did he say,' asked the nurse.

'Oops!'

------------------------------------------------------------

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of

bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had

even considered buying a bathing suit, so sought my husband's advice.

'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'

'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'

He's still in intensive care

10 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh My God! Those were absolutely hilarious! I am still laughing! Ha! Ha! Ha!!!.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    great ones!

    here r my favs.

    A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

    The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

    When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

    Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel . "

    After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

    The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

    When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"

    "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

    "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

    and

    A priest offered a Nun a lift.

    She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

    The priest nearly had an accident.

    After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

    The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

    The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

    The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

    The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

    Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

    On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

  • 1 decade ago

    Ahahhahhahaha.

  • 1 decade ago

    Haha dude nice ones,got more?

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    hhahahah, thanks for sharing! i nearly burst into laughter! i had to control it cause im in the library. hahaha, but really good ones! :D

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Those are really good lol

  • 1 decade ago

    haha lol.that was really good.i like it.thanks :)

  • 1 decade ago

    Ha. these are goooood.

  • ErRor
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    's 2,5,9,10 funny

  • 1 decade ago

    Hahahaha, totally excellent, these are really good, thanks.!

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.