What do you think about what i'd written so far?

It's just a little bit out of the first chapter. And it's all i've writen so far ha. =) I know i'm probably not the best with grammar. But i can work on that later. It's about this 22 year old mafia leader who falls for an 18 year old girl that he has kidnapped. The girl is the daughter of another mafia leader that he's trying to take down. The girl doesn't know this about her father though, until the guy starts questioning her, trying to get information. He has a motive for kidnapping her. That's the sum of it. The girl's name is Sean. and i know some might think. Why would you give her a boy name? I have a reason for it and it's going to work in the story. So just ignore this about her. =) I know it's probably not that great so far. This is the first time i've writen anything like this. I'm just curious to see how i am at writing. Thanks in advance!

It was 6:50 am on a Thursday morning. It was barely light out; as I sat on a bench outside of the high school, I had been attending for the last 4 years. The bell usually rang at 7:05. I always got there early. If you asked me why, I probably wouldn’t have an answer.

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.”

I looked up as soon as I heard the song that I knew was meant for me. It was Jake. A blonde haired beauty. A guy I’ve known since kindergarten.

“Everybody now! Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you” Everyone looked at me. Some were laughing.

“Oh you are so dumb. Stop it!” I said cutting him off in a non-serious tone. Giving him a friendly smile.

He kept going. “Happy birthday to Sean. Happy birthday to Sean!” He sang with a smile on his face. He stopped and I thought he was done.

“Wow you should try out for American idol Jake.” I said jokingly

“How old are you now, how old are you now, how old are you nowwwww, how old are you now!”

“24”

He looked at me and then laughed. I also laughed.

“Here I got you something.” Jake said as he put his hand in his pocket

“Keys to a Mercedes?”

“Yes” Jake said getting serious all of a sudden.

I laughed as he handed me a hand made card. It looked as if he worked hard on it. The front of it had ‘Happy Birthday Sean’ in graffiti. I opened it up and a gift card fell out and onto the ground. I picked it up and looked at it.

“It’s for Bath & Body works. Girls love that place” He said with a slight smile, looking at me. Searching my face to see if I liked it or not.

“I love it. Thanks” I said and hugged him

He hugged me back and we stood there for a few seconds. He wanted to keep holding on; I could tell. I let go and when I did, he did as well.

“You’re reading on your birthday?” He said chuckling, looking at my book.

“Of course. It’s what nerds do best”

“Ha sexy nerds” Jake said, taking a step closer to me, obviously trying to flirt.

I looked away and then at him. “Wow.. Who you talking to?” I said jokingly.

We both laughed.

“Happy birthday Sean” “Happy birthday” A couple of my friends said as they past me with smiles on their faces.

“Thanks” I said to both of them. The bell rang a couple minutes later.

As I walked into my English class, I was listening to my I-pod. Everyone was already there.

“Nice of you to join us.” Said Mr. Terra.

I could barely hear him. My I-pod was up too loud. I took them off.

“I’m late.” I said looking at him. People were chuckling, as I said the obvious.

“Take a seat Ms. Johnson. He said, rolling his eyes.

Mr. Terra was one of my favorite teachers and youngest. He was only 23. Fresh out of college. It was almost the end of his first year teaching.

I walked up the stairs and to my seat. The person next to me, Nate, gave me a smile.

“Hey” I said as I sat down, under my breath.

“I’d like to see you after class” Mr. Terra said, looking at me.

“Who me?”

“No, Shack.” He said sarcastically. “Yes, you”

“Have I been bad?” I said with a smirk.

“Not yet.”

People chuckled and some gave the ol’ “oooo” as if I was in trouble.

“Terra, it’s her birthday. Go easy on her” A guy I knew said, trying to help me out.

“Alright. Alright. I’ll let it slide. But I still want to see you after class. Now let’s get back to what I went to school for.” He said with authority.

After class I got up and was about to walk out, when I heard my name.

“Sean. Hold up.”

I stopped and turned around.

“Sit down for a moment. I’d like to talk to you.”

I walked over and sat down on a chair that he pulled up for me right beside his desk. He also sat down.

“What’s up?”

“Not much, you?” I said calmly, sliding back in my chair.

“Same. Everything good at home?”

“Yeah. Everything’s fine.”

“Sean—what do you plan on doing after high school?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well I read your paper. The one you wrote about what you want to do after school.”

I gave a little laugh, knowing what he was about to say. “And?”

“World domination” He read, then looking back at me. “You actually wrote 3 whole page