Guys, is it ok for your gf to mess around with another girl?

Question

Here is my dilemma... My boyfriend is awesome and I love him to death but his sex drive is way lower than mine and I often find myself frustrated. I've tried talking to him, seducing him, letting it go and seeing if he'll come around, but nothing works. I think he's just content with how he is. He loves me dearly and other than this the relationship is great but I'm seriously antsy. I am bi and he knows this. I've hinted at possibly doing something with a girl just to see what he would say. He said he wouldn't really have a problem with it as with a girl, there's no penetration so it's not cheating. I'm not sure he's serious though... So guys, if you didn't wanna change your sex drive, would you be cool with your girlfriend having a girl to play with every now and then to satisfy her urges? Just so we're clear, this isn't a threesome situation. I would play with her on my own and this is how I brought it up to him as well.

Update:

I'm not looking to cheat. That's the whole reason I talked to him about it. He would know so it's not cheating necessarily. It's hard though when my bf won't even notice a week has gone by since we last made love and I want him several times a day.

Dyn · Accepted Answer

If he has given consent to this, then I think you're free to do it. However, you may want to think about what this means for your future relationship. How far do you plan on going with this guy? I doubt if he'll look this way upon you hooking up with girls if you two were to be...oh....married. If you want this to work, you have to talk everything out, make sure it all works. And let him know that this isn't going to be a one time thing. Figure out were your feelings lie, and decide how important sex is to you compared to your relationship with this guy.

Anonymous · Answer

You are in an odd relationship to begin with. 

But if that was what you were needing to keep you satisfied, I guess I wouldn't mind,... if I was able to at least watch.

But if that is not something you'd be okay with, then you might consider just moving on. It already sounds like you two are a mismatch anyway.

zazoo · Answer

i noe this question is for guys. . but i gotta answer it too. haha. Im also Bi, and have been wanting to have a girl on the side too. but my bf doesnt wanna share me lol; but hey if ur guy says goes for it, then do it. u have urges that need to be satisfied and if he cant change his way, then go and have some fun. i kinda envy you. haha.


have fun!

bigjohn B · Answer

He may not be being  candid with you. You need to find out why he has a lower drive than you. It is odd though, many males find that women being sexual with each other is erotic. I once read and article on the plots for porn films. It said that one female-female scene in an otherwise male-female film can add to marketability to men. Why? Dunno

? · Answer

Most men ACT straight. Lots of men talk about the girls they like or the girls they met and had sex with JUST after you left the bar. Straight men DONT go into a room with a gay guy, strip naked and suggest having sex. Be VERY careful. Sometimes "Straight" men have gay sex then assault the "dirty queer who got them drunk and seduced them" They feel less guilty that way.

Anonymous · Answer

haha wow im no dude but n/e sex with n/e body especially when ur n a realtionship is cheating, n/e way u look at it! but if ur boyfriend is okay with it, then what the hell. but mayb u should give him one last chance but this time u take control!!!!

Anonymous · Answer

well first of all, I just don't understand why he's got such a low sex drive. but on the other hand...if I was with a Bi girl...I'd hope she would pursue a relationship with another girl, and hopefully with me, but I'm not going to hold my breath either. but it is important for one to be who they are. So I would always allow "you" to be "you". ...

So if he's ok with it...then go with it. maybe find a girl who would digg on the three way if he can digg it.

andrew b · Answer

hell no... are you crazy... he might say hes ok with it... but inside he feels betrayed, and like hes not good enough for him... i mean cheating on him with a lesbian is still cheating and the fact that your doing it as a lesbian is even worse... and i know you said your bi... but if your going to mess around with another girl thats a lesbian sex relationship and it would make any guy feel inferior

00000 · Answer

it still cheatin because you have someone that your not being faithful to. and i think its wierd that your looking to someone else other than your boyfriend to satify you. i think that its like a huge slap in the face for him

Shadow · Answer

Why do you feel the need to cheat on him? Be exclusive on leave him.

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Guys, is it ok for your gf to mess around with another girl?

13 Answers