What's a good comeback joke ?

• Hey, I may be fat, but you'll always be ugly, and I can diet.

• Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes, and this one will be too, if you sit down.

• Man: Do you want to dance?

Woman: NO

Man: Sorry, I think you misheard me...I said, You Look fat in those pants.

• Little Sister: Your Ugly.

You: And your quite good looking...for a Gorilla, that is...

• Do you notice how I've kept my youthful complexion?

Yeah, so I see...all spotty

• Man: Your place or mine?

Woman: Both. You are going to yours, and I'm going to mine.

• Man: So, what's your sign?

Woman: No Entry

• Man: I know how to please a Woman.

Woman: Well, please leave me alone.

• Friend: I've just come back from the Beauticians

You: Pity it was closed...

• Man: Please whisper those 3 little words that would make my day!

Woman: Go to hell

• Friend: I've changed my mind...

You: Excellent, so does the new one work better?

• Boss: Employees like that don't grow on trees you know...

You: How true Sir, they normally swing underneath them...

• Brother: Why do you smell funny?

You: It's called Soap - don't think you've ever smelt it before...

• Man: So, what do you do for a living?

Woman: I'm a Female Impersonator.

• Man: Hey there, haven't I seen you some place before?

Woman: Yes, and that's why I don't go there anymore.

• Man: Say, haven't we met before?

Woman: Yes, I'm the head Nurse at the VD clinic.

• Man: I can tell that you want me.

Woman: You know, you're dead right...I want you to go away!

• Wife: Darling, do you think I'll lose my looks as I get older

You: With luck, yes

• Work Colleague: Do you find me entertaining?

You: I reckon you are too dim to entertain a thought

• Old Wife: Shall I put the TV on? Old Man: Well it would certainly improve the view in here...

• You know, I've been asked to get married over a hundreds times.

Yeah, but your parents don't count...

• How many people work in your office?

About half of them

• Brother: I love biscuits

You: That's cuz your crackers

• You: I reckon you'd make a great exchange student.

Friend: Wow, you really think so?

You: Yes, we might be able to exchange you for someone nice.

• Man: Hey there, haven't I seen you some place before? Woman: Yes, and that's why I don't go there anymore.

that depends on what one perosn said to you

but me and my friend michael always just make a 0 with our hands and say zero. most people we talk to get it but some dont.

zero=number of friends u have

Just curious. How is riding the short bus?

Person: Blah, blah, blah

You: Quick everyone, take away the mirrors (person's name) is here!

for what? "can't take a joke?"- I took you wife didn't I?

... Oh yeah! Well you have more *** than the world's leading donkey distributor!

look in the mirror smart one!

I know you are but what am i jaja

at least i have one haha

your mom/ your face/ you.