How can I get my husband to seek counseling for his depression?

Either he goes for help......OR you remove the computer. Good Luck! ♥

about 5 years ago, I started to fall into a really depressive episode. At first I thought it was only because I had a bad break from a relationship but the feelings wouldn't go away even after I got a new girlfriend. It was wrecking my life until a point where it was seriously affecting my work and personal life.

She was very worried but at the same time couldn't understand why I was still sad and thought that I still couldn't let go of my previous relationship. Being the wonderful person that she is, she put aside her feelings and suggested I go for psychiatric evaluation. Many months later and even more anti-depressants, I was not coming close to being better at all.

After doing some research online, I found out the real cause as you described it really makes a lot of sense and purchased this program. The results were simply astonishing. I read this book over three times and put all words in action. Using this method, I've kept my depression at bay ever since. Up to date I'm still living happily with my girlfriend.

Depression Free Method?

Encourage him to have a complete physical done. His lab work will show if there could be other reasons contributing to his sporadic moods and lack of libido. If everything turns out okay then he may be open to considering getting medicinal help. This can be attained thru seeing an internal meds doctor. He may feel more comfortable seeing this type of a doc for depression. They will often prescribe something on a temporary basis to see if it will improve his condition. If he is on more than 3 months then he will be referred to a qualified counselor/psychologist.

As a side note it isn't uncommon for things like high blood pressure and hi cholesterol levels interfering with moods and sex drive. He may not be clinically depressed at all. However if he has thoughts of suicide at any time then he absolutely needs to be seen asap. Make the appointment for him and then tell him when it is.

I don't know if you will agree, or even understand what I am going to tell you, but I will tell you anyway:

Leave Him Alone

It sounds like you are so in his face that he is going insane. The kicker was "sex is sporadic at best" implying that you are looking for sex and he isn't giving it to you. Your avatar is good looking, from what I can see of it... so we know you're not a dog. If he's got any real libido he should be wanting to fug you all the time. If he's not, the most likely reason is that you're driving him insane. Why don't you get some hobbies or other diversions and totally back off for about six months?

Edit - Just for the record, I thought I would add that the best thing I've ever done for my depression was to lift weights; power lift, a lot, every day. This is hard to do, and hard to get motivated for, but after doing it for 2 hours a day, for six months, I FEEL GREAT. Guess how I got originally motivated? I smoked two packs a week for the first 4 months! It worked! It got the blood flowing every morning, and it kept me pumped up all day long. After four months, I quit, and the weight lifting routine continued.

Everyone is different... be open to alternative therapy.

Yeah, it is a problem. You can make all the appointments you can, but he is the one who needs to actually get off his a$s and go. I don't know what it will take for him to acknowledge that he has a problem, and to seek help. I know it took me years to even realize that my thought patterns were not what they should be, and that it was affecting my life - I thought everything was perfectly normal with me, but I felt "different" from other people, and so I decided to seek medical help; well, right off the bat, the depression questionnaire they had me fill out showed that I wasn't just "a little" depressed - I was like off the charts. So I got referred to a psychiatrist, and I've been seeing him for probably 7-8 years now. I'm on meds, and it really helps; whenever I try to stop taking the medication, the depression creeps back in, and it is so gradual that it's almost impossible to perceive that something is wrong; you feel the same day to day, but over the period of months the old thought patterns start to take over. But, bottom line is, no one can make me go to the doctor; no one can make me take the medication. I do it because I recognize the problem and I'm committed to trying to remedy it the best I can. Without such recognition and commitment, there really isn't much anyone else can do.

My husband was very depressed for a long time and it was bringing me down too. He was also drinking too much. I did some research and found there are three ways out of clinical depression:

1. Talk therapy, which takes a very long time to show improvement

2. Diet and exercise, which is the hardest thing to do when depressed

3. Medication, has possible side effects like decreased sex drive

I wrote him a long letter that I edited carefully to state my case in a non-acusatory way but stated I could not go on this way with him for my own sanity and I would not watch him spiral any more. A doctor friend gave me a prescription for him and I had it filled. I bought a lock box, a journal and had a special silver pen that belonged to his mother refurbished. I put all of these in the box and gave them to him. I also included depression literature and available counseling contacts.

This gave him a clear understanding of what he was doing to his family and some tools to fix it. Fixing it was up to him. He decided to take the pills for a while, he journaled because he is not willing to see a therapist, and he came out of the funk. He now recognizes when he is going in that direction and heads it off before he becomes that bad.

You know the old saying about how you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink! Well the same go's for your husband. It's hard for someone to express what they are feeling when they are depressed. It's also even harder for men to express what they are feeling because as men we don't deal with feelings & emotions on an everyday basis like women do. Men see everything black & white or yes & no. There are no feelings involved in these kind of things. We clock in & clock out from work just like robots. Marriage can come to this point if the both of you let it. Try talking with him about his feelings and whats bothering him. Be prepared though for something you might not want to hear though.

It's just like any other medical disease, he won't go until HE feels it's necessary. Many men (me included) wrongly view counseling or psychology as "unmanly". We're men, after all. We should be able to solve our own problems.

Unfortunately, that's not the way the real world works.

Take it from a guy with more than his share of problems, be patient with him and make sure he knows that no matter what happens, that you're there for him. I sure wish my wife would.

Also, without nagging, let him know in a subtle way that speaking to someone will be good for both of you.

Best of luck.

It could be age related, or work or relationship related. Throw in computer gaming and he will not want to surface. Please read up on this addiction if he is playing for at least 3 hours a time. Believe me I let my stepson read this and he is down to an hour a day. Computer games can take over your life.

You can continue alone with MG if you think it offers you support but I think you need to clarify what is the major problem. Good luck

Sit down and talk to him personally.

Better yet stage a intervention. Get close family and friends to come and explain to him that you are worried and you think its for the best. Emotions may run high and it would be safe to consider having tissues and a counsler there to be sure it goes well. Good luck with everything and hope you have a long healthy marriage ahead of you.

coming from a person that is also depressed, I wouldn't want anybody to make some appointment for me. who is some counselor to tell me what's wrong with me? i'd prefer if my loved ones showed that they cared for me instead of pushing me to some counselor - as if there is something wrong with me.

try to get him away from the computer and go out and do something fun.

i understand why you want to bring him to a counselor though, so if you think it is the right thing to do. just do it.