Thinking of popping the question tonight. Advice greatly appreciated?

Dear Sir Humphrey,

I believe simplicity is the key to an elegant and successful proposal. A nice idea would be to cook her a delicious meal, served with some Moet and Chandon perhaps, then take a stroll in a pleasant, quiescent setting whereapon you can profess your' undying love for Lady Victoria and present her with the ring on one knee. Do try to avoid kneeling in an unsanitory location, as this will ruin the overall effect once you stand.

I wish you luck in your' endevour!

Yours' Truly,

Lady Sarah

My good chum,

Hopefully you submitted your angry response to the accusation that your dear daddy is bankrupt! To accuse a gentlemen of such a thing is clearly unprovoked and should be dealt with in a sincere and harsh letter demanding an apology, but onto the issue at hand. . .

My advise would be to allow your dinner to go uneventful but when she is about to devour her (your?) cream, have your hired assassin hiding in the planter fire the ring from a blow gun into her face. She will be most delighted and pleased to pry the gem from her ear, nose, or whatever orifice it managed to find it's way into.

Now you will receive a large dowry as a woman's family should be grateful she has been locked into a British family. On my recent escapade in the Amazon, I was given a dowry of fifteen human skins after I gave a river woman a sexual pummeling. Of course, I took the payment and put the woman at work in the basement polishing my dusty wine-racks. Bully!

Sir Harold Chesterhill of York

(dictated but not read)

Smythe Old boy,

I am rather satisfied with the Ogga Bongo arms deal, Your father was a true expert working his way through the mountain of naked tribeswomen thrust upon him during the early process of the discussions. Well old chap, I happen to have a little intel for you in regards to your choice of concubine. This Granger Filly shares a common genetic strain with the rest of the females in her line stretching all the way back to Lady Henrietta Bingley Smutterbottom Granger, Rumoured to have been Henry the 8th's secret mistress. Apparently They all have "pit stop" weakness. Any man who can successfully lick a Female Granger arm pit during the height of precipitation will own her forever. One would have no need for elaborate complicated manoeuvres such as " romance" or

"reasonable communication" Indeed if you could slap your handsome tongue onto her underarm bush and slurp up the sweat with a long and heavenly "oooooooommmmmmm " Lady G will collapse into your world with notable obedience. Depositing her onto the nearest alta for immediate noding action would be a total snip old chum. One could even use a cheap South African diamond for the marraige ring and she wouldnt even care! So may I suggest that your opening line may have to be something along the lines of " I say old girl, I seem to have a blown light bulb" or perhaps " Could you possibly reach up there for my jar of potted lama pate ? Another strategy might be to inform her that there is a new sympton of mad cows desease that only becomes visible under the armpits to English gentelmen! I have full faith you shall without doubt have this vessel filled with the finest Aristocratic spermicide by the end of the month what?

Hopperty hoop

Over the top lads

Thing is dear boy, you and the Lady Victoria are getting somewhat long in the tooth for too much shilly shallying around. The time has come to bit the bullit so to speak..grasp the mettle old fruit, and simply get down on one knee the old fashioned way. Then no one will get hurt..or choke.

The ice cream idea sounds very good but if you Plan to do it , go to buy a capsule and put the ring in there the size you find in kinder suprise , if not carefully put the ring in a small box , rap the box with an air tight and waterproof seal and then pop it in the ice cream , doing this she wont miss it or choke on it

The logical course of action would be to choke her first, then smother her in ice cream, and finally pop the question. Then pawn the ring.

Right, the first thing to say is 'Vicky old thing, do you fancy a shag ? if it is yes do it and then say goodbye you dont want to marry the witch do you? really.

Good for you

~

good wolf make her your cuz you alfa male she cant say no.