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Am I weird for not wanting to be close to my extended family?
I'm living back in the same state as my extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents) after living 7+ hours from them for 10 years now. I'm not use to having them around or them being a part of my life. When I lived at home I only talked to them on the phone when they'd call my parents house. Then when I went off to college I never felt like calling to chat with any of them. I'd call my grandparents every now and then but never aunts or uncles just to chat. My fiance and i have decided on a destination wedding and I just got a call/guilt trip from my aunt because i'm the first one to get married on my dads side and they supposedly can't be there. For some reason, my aunt feels like she gets to be the boss of the family. Her and her husband never had kids and I feel like she expects us (cousins and I) to be her stand-ins. I have absolutely no desire to call and chat with her or change my life's plans to make her happy. She was talking about how they feel i've left the family. Am I weird or are most people like this? Does extended family usually expect so much involvement/communication?
I wasn't asking for personal opinions on the wedding. WE (as the couple planning THEIR ONE day) have decided on a destination wedding. Period. Please keep comments focused on the actual question. Thanks guys!
3 Answers
- tonyLv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
You are not weird and you are also right about not changing your plans because of your aunt. My advice is to continue with your plans, but you should tape your wedding, and when you are ready, share them with your grand parents. I felt that as you were getting older, other priories and new people came into your life. You became use of the new life you had become and returning back home just didn't have the same feel for you, and it is nothing to be guilty about. The person your family had known (you) is person had change now, life goes on. Please allow me to give you and your fiancee my blessings. I really wish the best for the both of you. I will pray regarding your union to be. God bless.
- gras2unpcLv 41 decade ago
No. You are not weird. Some people are like this. That doesn't mean they are weird, either. Most people want to attend their relatives' weddings because, well, they are relatives. And relatives are what you are creating when you get married. Most people feel the honeymoon should be intimate, and the marriage a public ceremony specifically for friends and relatives. If you want a trendy destination wedding that precludes people to whom you are special, that is your prerogative. However, there may another price to pay for that luxury - one that you do not fully appreciate now.
Modified after additional comments:
Oh. Well. Sorry. So, then:
Am I wierd? Maybe. Maybe not.
Are most people like this? Yes.
Does extended family usually expect so much involvement/communication? Yes to involvement, if only attendance. They may love you despite your apathy to them.
