PLEASE ANSWER MY QUESTIONFriend is doing my head in, should i keep making effort or move on to other friends?

Question

Yesterday my friend told me that i was being a burden to her because i called her to talk about my feelings about my ex boyfriend and the stress i felt about my business. We met up and i tried to be all positive and happy and i had a good day.Her ex doesn't treat her good he treats her like ****, my ex can be a jerk sometimes, but all in all he's a nice guy.Anyway i was really happy, really confident. I called my ex and we said we missed each other over the phone, he said that he'd call me back when he got home and he did. He said that he'd been thinking of me too. Anyway, my friends ex who left her, doesn't pick up her calls and ignores her or always avoids her in public, and has cheated on her numerous times.
This is what pisses me off. My friend calls me all the time with loads of her problems. I'm always there for her, i always invite her to my house, she's invited me to hers once.
Everytime she's upset or crying i stay on the phone and talk to her for hours, even when one of her boyfriends was threatening to beat her up i told her to come to my house for safety. She's extremely insecure. I always get dragged to clubs i don't want to go to and be in the company of people i don't want to be around because if i don't she'll sulk and start acting up.If i decide that i'm too tired to dance she'll stop dancing and have an attitude, or act like i'm ruining her fun when i don't want to be at the clubs in the first place. I confronted her a while ago because i suffer from epilepsy and everytime i feel sick or unwell, she's so cold because she doesn't want to leave the clubs because she wants male attention so badly. She'll give me the silent treatment or say really coldly are you okay. We can drive all the way to the city for a club and as soon as she starts feeling insecure i tell her we should leave. I'm always supporting her. When i had an argument with my friend, a year into our friendship, it was a little one and she told a girl i couldn't stand at the time that she was gonna cut me out. This girl i feel is like a god to my friend sometimes.My friend made me stay at a funeral supporting a girl i didn't like because as usual 'she doesn't want to be alone.' I wanted to leave because i felt that it was dishonourable me being there supporting the girl when i'd been bitching about her the day before.I was crying because i felt guilty, and as usual that girl was putting me down like she always does so i left. My friend drove back after me saying 'she couldn't do it by herself.' Whenever i wanted to do something like networking for my business my friend would start acting up, or if i'm getting male attention which she's used to getting she gets this really jealous look in her eyes. Whenever the girl i didn't like would put me down or take sly digs at me, my friend would pretend like she didn't see anything when she did, but when the same girl would take digs at my friend she'd come crying to me about it.Everytime someone i care about has attacked my friends character i've openly defended her, and i've distanced myself from those people. When i told my friend her ex had disrespected me whilst they were seeing each other, she asked me if he was with a girl and went back to sleeping with him.This girl that was always putting me down, i kept being positive and supportive towards her and she kept calling me all the time and wanting to speak to me. Hang out with me, it was flattering.She was always closer to my friend i felt, but i also felt their relationship was very plastic. Anyway my friend says that she's happy that we talk and happy that that girl see's me as someone to talk to, Yet whenever my friend hears there's been communication between me and her she goes all funny. Recently my friend told me she invited this girl to her aunts daughters christening, not only did she not show up but she didn't even call. My friend has never invited me to anything like that. I've only been to her house twice. My friend is a really nice person, but i believe she's got mental issues, and she's very paranoid and feels like she doesn't communicate well with other people.When i make friends with other people my friend gets jealous so i try and get her to meet them so she doesn't feel left out. When my friend meets new people it's like she puts them on a pedastal and almost forgets i'm around. What's the verdict people, should i move on to other people. I  used to be so much more confident than i am now.

Min · Accepted Answer

Hon this girl is definitely NOT a true friend.   She is all about me. me. me & radio station WIFM (what's in it for me).  There is give & take in any relationship - it's all give one way, yours.   Having mental issues does not give her the right to behave in this manner or treat you this way.  

Can I suggest you distance yourself slowly from her as it sounds like she could turn into a night-mare?   Use a little compassion but do not be taken advantage of anymore.   Don't answer too many calls, if she rings home screen yr calls & then decide if & when you wish to talk.  Same for yr cell/mobile phone.    Do not go to places or be with ppl you are uncomfortable with just for her sake, be true to yourself.  She is taking advantage of you. I thought some lights @ nightclubs could bring on epilepsy?  Where is yr friend's care of you?

You have to end this destructive relationship before it completely wrecks your own self worth.   Take care.   True friends are like diamonds - precious are rare, False friends are like stones - they tumble away. 

I think she has made your life miserable enough, time to rekindle some old friendships or build new ones. People come into your life for a reason, season or life time I think you already know deep in yr heart what has to be done.  God bless.

:] · Answer

You deserve better.
All the same, don't abandon her on her own which would make it worse but just distance yourself a bit.
Dont do things to please her, do it your way - if you dont want to go, then dont, but try to be open minded about it or something. If you are going to a club then look forward to it, think of it as a positive not negative that you are experiencing new things.
With the boyfriend bit, just tell her how you feel about it then let her decide how she wants to feel. Perhaps dont baby her so much then when she is upset, she will taste her own medicine then maybe change about how she will act to people.
Good Luck ! 

:)

? · Answer

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? · Answer

no help her she needs ur help,she just shows this attitude coz she wants ur attention and would love to see u solve her problems and if she really shows u attitude than tell her to leave u alone and don't ever try to get in ur way coz these kind of people behave in a ridiculous manner to get attention of any person to whom she is attracted,"HELP HER OR ELSE LEAVE HER AT HER OWN RISK"

blue eyed beauty · Answer

u deserv betr find new frends and tell her to get  a phsycoligist. sounds like she has ptsd.

-nini

Anonymous · Answer

DUMP HER!!! some people will not respect you unless you demand it from them.

Anonymous · Answer

would of answered but question is too long.

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PLEASE ANSWER MY QUESTIONFriend is doing my head in, should i keep making effort or move on to other friends?

7 Answers