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INSTALLING A HUSBAND?
INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Dear Tech Support ,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the
flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0 .
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such
as:
· Romance 9.5 and
· Personal Attention 6.5,
and then installed undesirable programs such as :
· NBA 5.0,
· NFL 3.0
·Golf Clubs 4.1 and
· Elk Hunting 5.5
Also Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply
crashes the system.
· Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5 .3 to fix these
problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
DEAR DESPERATE ,
First, keep in mind,
· Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
· Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears
6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
· If that application works as designed , Husband 1.0 should then
automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband
1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5 , Happy Hour 7..0 or Beer 6.1 ..
· Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download
the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta..
Whatever you do, DO NO T under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law
1.020(it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize
control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0
-program These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0
.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We
recommend
· Cooking 3.0 and
· Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck!
Tech Support
11 Answers
- ShenanigansLv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
I love this. I have gotten the email many times, there is also one for the men too. Both are hilarious.
- BaldevLv 51 decade ago
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
I had the other version of the same joke.....Enjoy
Wife 1.0 Software -
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities, such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Going To The Pub 7.5, and Softball 3.6
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my other favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
Please help!
Thanks,
Troubled User.....
_____________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men often complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge, the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings: Alimony-Child Support .. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving! the situation. I suggest installing the background application Yes Dear 2.7 to alleviate your program problems.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance! Wife 1.0 does come with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5, and Do Bills 4.2
However, be very careful how you use these programs . Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!
Best of luck!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Pretty sad, but even as a guy that is probably one of the funniest things I have ever read. Bravo.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
To sit and hear your wife laugh as she hears a joke is very nice and I recommend you tell more jokes because YOU SURE CAN TELL THEM!-starred
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- MARK 2Lv 41 decade ago
Hi keen2ts
Don't show that to my G/F, i will be replaced eh
but other than that it was brilliant, you get a get out of jail free card for that one
