16 year old boy CONFUSED... please help me I need it... long, but please im so lost?

Question

Sooooo here's my story. Back in sophomore year of highschool, I met this kid in my chem class. We ended up bein really good friends, and I had him in another period that was free. Well his little sister was int that period as well, and was a freshman at the time. Right off the bat I liked her. Her eyes are absolutely amazing, her smile makes any and every worry I have go away, and making her laugh is quite literally my favorite thing to do in the entire world. So we start talking and over the course of that year we got to know eachother... and I never stopped thinking about her. This continued over the last summer, and I ended up bein her friend on facebook. This led to online conversations with her that had me checking my computer almost every minute to see if she was online so I could talk to her... Football season came and went, and i STILL was thinking about her every day, and by this time I had her number and was texting her, not nonstop creepy, but at least once a day. Seeing how she was doing, etc. So eventually this all culminates in the two of us going out. Happy ending? I think not. This only went on for about a month before she broke it off. I was torn apart. Had the only shitty christmas i've ever had (she broke it off in december). So then, she and my best friend sgart up this little fling... and i went into massive, massive depression. I don't think I talked to anybody for weeks. Not family, not friends... eventually my parents sent me to therapy to figure out what the problem was, and I didn't even tell the THERAPIST the entire story. So I basically thought life couldn't get any worse... in a couple of months though, she decided she no longer liked my friend, and for good reason actually; he treated her as a piece of property, taunted her, I couldn't understand for the life of me WHY she would be with him (but they never "officially" were going out). So she stops it with my friend, and basically just flirts like crazy for a couple of months... this whole time, i've gotten into lifting weights. And not like lifitng/bodybuilding get buff lifting, effective strength/combat training... I joined a local MMA gym and used that to get my aggression out. So eventually, while STILL thinking about her every day (its almost 2 years now) I find happiness. Im still thinkin about her yes, but im enjoying life again. But then one night as im about to go running (totally into the fitness thing now...) her friend texts me... and we get into this convo... and she tells me that this girl who i havent stopped thinking about since i met her is thinking about ME again. Obviously that was the easiest 5 miles I ever ran. So im told she likes me one week... and the next im told she doesnt anymore. This didn't really phase me, as I knew it would be too good to be true. So then a couple more months go by, school ends (end of junior year now) summer football camp starts, and Im still thinking about her... and ive got this friend helping me from the inside... and one day surprises me with telling me that she DOES in fact like me, but is afraid to tell me. So one night im talkin to her on the phone, and she asks me if I wrote her a love letter. I say "no I didn't", and she thinks im just tryin to be funny. Well as it turns out, someone wrote her a love letter as a prank, and she thought it was me because it said something about getting back together. Well when I told her it wasn't me she started crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said "I got my hopes up..." and when I asked her "what about?", she spilled that she liked me, but she didn't know where it was gonna go, and that she didn't wanna hurt me again... and she thought the note was from me and was all excited. So i told her EVERYTHING. How i felt about her. That she means the world to me, that I think about her every day, that I was even thinking of not joining the marines because it would mean i wouldnt see her... and she was so glad, she was still crying. We probably stayed on the phone for another couple hours or so just talking about how much we cared about eachother and how "oh no i bet i could wierd you out with this one..." and I realized how absolutely in love with her I am. Like this is the real-deal, story book stuff. It's been 2 weeks since that night, and we're still not in a relationship again, and I don't know what to do to put get her into one. She doesn't like being tied down I think... but what could keep a girl who tells me all that from being with me? I have no idea what to do... and every day without her being mine hurts... please help me.

Update:

I can't believe how many dumb *** people are on this thing... WHY comment if you're not gonna read it!??

Update 2:

Im at this girls house like every day because were in the same group of friends... like 7 of us who just go chill at her house (were all friends with her bro too) but i talk to her absolutely everyday.

SSQ8 · Accepted Answer

Dear friend Joe,
Fine.

Live your lifetime and continue to be good friends.

Sarojin A · Answer

Okay, listen. I am 27 years old and I remember being a 16 year old girl like it was yesterday. That chick is just like you. ..confused okay? At this time in your life, you can't let your emotions betray you into thinking that you can only live for and be with this ONE person. You really need to take things slow, it sounds like you could have a really good future going for you. Keep talking to her, but don't rush the relationship. Don't worry, I read the WHOLE thing. You both need some time to explore everything that your lives have to offer you before you get locked down on each other and become 'trapped.' It sounds like she may have already realized that, since she isn't willing to be just 'yours' right now. I personally have thrown away everything for guys I thought were the 'one.' And I know how compelling and genuine those feelings can feel. Just take it slow, you have so much time, you don't even realize it. If she is the perfect girl for you, then she will be there. Good luck.

Anonymous · Answer

As odd as this might sound....do not make it official, but be her boyfriend.  Maybe its just the mere fact of having that label (the tie down) that makes her feel weird.  So I would begin hanging out with her and try to ease into everything a boyfriend and girlfriend would do (as long as shes receptive of it).  This way she never feels tied down, and you both get into the relationship you two should be in.

Its been two weeks...she could possibly be waiting for you to make the move.  Maybe consider finding out if she has a free night through your insider sources, and pick her up randomly one night (Friday) and take her on a all-expenses paid date.  Really drive home your point that you like her by doing some things you two both enjoy, WITHOUT diving into talking about going back out.  GO FOR WHAT YOU WANT, but dont press her into anything.  

If its meant to be, all the blocks will fall into place.  Keep in mind, you two are older and maturer now.  If its meant to work, it will.

Good luck buddy!

KiD-DyNo · Answer

Wow. I feel for you bro. heartbreak ant easy. Well there's not really a answer that someone could give you on this on that would really help because when it comes to things like this the only thing that matters it what your heart is telling you to do. but if you really want a opinion i think you should explain to her how not completely being with her is hurting you and then see what she says. If she still isn't trying to be complete with you then as hard as it sounds maby it would be best for you if you moved on. because at the end of the day the only thing that matters is that your happy. If your just depressed all the time it isn't helping anyone so you need to come to a decision on this soon. But i would love to hear how this plays out. if you need further help my email is wesson013@yahoo.com

Anonymous · Answer

Wow I can't believe I read all that. You're absolutely right though about the tied down thing. Give her a little space. Wait another week or two and then start dropping flirts like a madman and let her make the first real move.  If you want to talk to me more about this send me a PM and i'll give you my screenname for aim or something

Anonymous · Answer

Cool story bro.  I went through a similar relationship.  I think the best thing you could do is just ask her if she wants to continue what you guys have going on, and maybe bring it to the next level.  Chances are you guys wont be together forever.  If you are GREAT.  Statistics show that you will not be.  Get together, try it out, have the time of your life for your senior year.  Most of my memories were made that year.  Worst case scenario you guys aren't made for each other.   God forbid that happens, you should concentrate on moving on.  Try not to be as obsessive.  There's plenty of women out there for you.

My advice would be to get with this girl,  try out the relationship thing, and when it ends, blow her off.  It's not worth shelling yourself over one girl your senior year.  

Keep your head up.  Have confidence, and good luck.

Navlet · Answer

Why do you want to be with an idiot like this? If he had an ounce of respect for you he wouldn't be putting his hands where you don't want them. You're right, he's a player and he's only interested in what he can get. At 14 you don't need to be losing your virginity to anybody, especially this loser. You will meet lots of boys in the years to come who are decent and respectful. Yuy don't need a boyfriend just to have a boyfriend. Take your time and be selective. Tell this bozo to hit the road.

Nicole M · Answer

first off.. no offense but she doesn't sound like the girl for  you. But if you think you love her, then be it. You're hurting inside, and you have got to let her know that. Tell her that you want to be in a stable relationship, you love her and loved her from the start, but if she doesn't want to be tied down and in a relationship with you, you are going to give up and move on. If she agrees to go out with you even after that, it means she doesn't appreciate your love for her and just wants to have fun. Tell her that it's too hard for you two to just deal, or what ever you are doing. You're afraid that one day she is just going to dissapear because she's not exactly yours, so she can. She doesn't have to break up with you if you guys are not together. Just tell her how you feel, her reaction to it makes the decision for you. Don't keep going on like that if she doesn't actually want to be with you, it's not worth it. Good luck!

-N.M.

Extreme Kiwii · Answer

People here are jerks.

Anyway, I would advice you to think it over if you want to be with her. I'm sure you do, but she can hurt you once again. She did it once, who says she wouldn't do it again? And with your best friend? Ouch. Then you say how you got all fit and buffed up and whoa she starts liking you again? Hmm...sounds a bit odd. Listen, I know you love her and if you really think its worth it, then go for it. And if a girl TRULY loves you, cares for you, and is ready for a relationship, she will most definitely want to be your one and only, fully committed and not worried about being "tied down". She may be afraid of commitment...maybe she was hurt in the past. But, if she really loves you, she would/will put all her fears aside for you. If she doesn't, then... what does that say? Be careful. Be careful. Be careful.

? · Answer

Sounds like you need to study her more, she could be simply lost or just got out of a relationship and wants somebody next to her till she finds who she really likes, and about the note thing it sound like either your lieing that you didn't write it, or she made it up to have someone by her side at the momment.
My suggestion is tell her you want to be good friends with her and do things after school with her and don't ask her if she wants to be dating but rather slide into it without words but actions.
Becareful with her she can break your heart man don't hypmotize yourself with her there girls out there with pretty eyes and even more than this girl.

Hanging · Answer

show her how much u love her and talk 2 her about feelings about how u feel and how she feels b COMPLETLY honest show that ur comitted tell her u want her and u want 2 b with her in everyway u guys could just pretty much b going out without actually being bf and gf like do all the same things

Trending News

16 year old boy CONFUSED... please help me I need it... long, but please im so lost?

18 Answers