asking for your opinion on this?

I want to be a lyricist so from time to time i write down stuff that sounds like it would be good music i just wrote this song it is a rap song that should be a little humor please let me know what you think of it:

come on come on come on repeat the chorus(x5)

im gonna repetitively repeat the same thing over an over like a broken record till its stuck in your head and your wishing you could jab a screw driver in your brain to relieve the pain that my repetitiveness has influenced on your mind the am and fm radio stations are gonna play me like 95 times a day that you'll be so sick and tired of of me in a week or two but they wont give up so easily by the time i drop from the number 1 spot ill be too hot for my neighborhood ill fly to miami get a home on star island that's to big for one person ill be dropping old friends like they weren't there thru the hard times, ill don myself as a gangster tho i never popped a soul, i throw away money on expensive things that don't mean **** a party everyday a party every night a party party party parrtay wait just a second i think its time for the chorus so everyone sing along

come on come on come on repeat the chorus(x5)

by now im sure your already sick and tired of this song wishing it end so you can get the **** on hoping and praying to god this song will end quick cause your friend is sick in the mind showing you my rhymes thinking they hip cause they repetitive and **** but you wanna be cool like the rest of the dudes in your school so you play along pretending to like this **** wondering when is all gone end its like a plague infect one and soon it'll spread until its an epidemic then the government will step in trying to figure out a cure that isn't quite a cure so they can continuously sell their meds for some false hope an some false bread but enough about this lets get back to the chorus

come on come on come on repeat the chorus(x5)

seriously what the hell you doing still listening to this you think by now you would of left in a furious rage cause you wasted sometime on some rhymes that make no sense like a garbage can full of incense and dimes ive flat out told you several times this song suck major grime yet its still blaring in your 5s without some bass as your driving down the road at a 35 pace

with your windows down so everyone in town can hear this rhyme like its the illest thing in 95 radius now this ill be the last thing i ever ask you to do so one more time wontcha repeat that chorus

come on come on come on repeat the chorus(x5)