I feel I am Not in love with my husband anymore. Should I get a divorce?

Hi there sweetie.....My heart goes out to you and your two children.....This is not a good environment for your children first of all....with all of the partying and smoking going on there......You need to think of yourself and your kids first and foremost.....Your husband does indeed need to grow up.....Are you able to sit down with him away from mom and have a heart to heart with him....just the two of you...???? Tell him that although you still love him, he is riding dangerously close to the edge with you....tell him that you and the kids should come first.....the drinking and the pot is keeping you all living there with mom.....what is he doing about saving for a place of your own.....it does not sound like he is trying too hard to change your situation at all.....Tell him that you both have to work together as a team and change your ways if you want a happily ever after.....he's not going to change unless you call him on it.....if he does....that is wonderful....if he is not willing to, I guess you and only you will decide if you can stand to stay in your present situation or provide a more relaxing, happy enviroment for you and your children.....good luck sweetness.....you deserve some happiness too.....((((HUGS)))...Linda

I am 18 yrs old...my parents got divorced when i was about seven years old, and i won't lie to you...it sucked... there isnt 30 seconds out of every minute of every day that i dont think about what happened...it wasnt a pretty divorce, mostly because of the custody battle between my parents for my brother and I. and it wont be easy for your five year old if you do get a divorce. He will always remember it, the fights that will happen, the yelling, cursing, everything. But in the grand scheme of things, based on the situation you are in and the man you are married to, a divorce may be most beneficial to your children. men who do those things will eventually become abusive, if he isnt already. drunk men hit, and drunk men cheat. most Men will treat you how you let them, and it breaks my heart to see a post like this. Divorce should always be a last resort for a couple, especiall a couple with children. i know i may be young to you, but i went through this as a child, and sometimes it still does continue. I STRONGLY SUGGEST you see the film "Fireproof," and listen to the song "Love is not a fight" by warren barfield. Listen carefully to the words in the song, and pay close attention to the film. And you may not believe in god, but sometimes, no matter what, it Feels good and it helps to Pray. I used to hear my parents yell and fight, so i just prayed, and it helped. just remember that time is short, and the time you spend miserable is part of that time. Please feel free to message and talk to me about your situation, and God Bless.

"Love is not a fight, but its something worth fighting for"

The reason your man yells, drinks, smokes pot all the time is to deal with your nagging! Why did you change from the person that he fell in love with? You knew how he and his family was before you got pregnet the first time!! So what do you do?? (NOT GET OUT) You have another child that will be forced to live that life! Well? Until child services take them away! But Im sure you'll have another question to post when that happens...good luck..as im shaking my head

I am a man coming out of an abusive relationship with a woman.

Leave, you are lucky in that you can take the children with you. I had to leave and now can only visit her but the alternative is worse for both my daughter and me.

Your husband sounds like my former wife but without the drinking and smoking, she didn't need to be under the influence of anything to shout, curse, swear, insult, demean and otherwise verbally and emotionally abuse.

I don't know if such people can be helped but victims like you and I are not therapists.

you DID grow up and that is what you are supposed to do as you move forward in life with marriage and children. I was wondering, do you have a job? If you do then I would suggest finding an affordable apartment for you and your kids. Then let him know that he can come and visit, but only if he is sober and can treat you and the kids as "family" and not like you are garbage. Your kids deserve to grow up in a happy, calming environment...not what you described. Divorces are very expensive..but you have to do something reasonable and I'm with you!! Take charge of this situation or it will only get worse with time. Good luck to you, you sound like a wonderful Mom!!!

It sounds like he never really grew up and you did. You should have dumped him ages ago! He's doing nothing but holding you back. If you divorce him make sure you get full custody of the kids, I couldn't imagine the type of bad influence he has on the kids. If anything, do it for your children- get out of this bad relationship. You are obviously being treated with no respect. Trust me, you will be ALOT happier without him. Good luck!

I think the real question is... how did you even get into that mess? he was a 30yr old living in his moms house when u married him. I'm not one to support divorce and stuff but this actually seems like a situation worthy of divorce, it wont be good for the kids.

There is a difference in being IN love or just loving him. I know I still love my ex but as far as being IN LOVE I know Im not. You need to worry about you and what makes you happy. One thing I realized I didn't want our daughter growing up seeing me miserable because I was not happy anymore. Some day the children will understand

i would get a divorce you are a grown woman and you know what you want for yourself and your children and if your husband, their FATHER doesn't want to get off his *** and give it to him then leave you deserve to be happy with your prince charming not some lazy bum living in his moms house! leave him he will know what he;s lost when its gone and if he cares then then maybe he;ll change to at least set a good example for the kids but i would leave there is no point in living a life you dont want to

You are just as bad as he is, you guys are perfect for each other! Why on earth did you bring a second child into your messed up world! Unbelievable. And now you ask for opinions? Too late for that girl.