Help me Please My Mental state is a mess?

Question

i see ghouls and ghosts constantly in my room and everywhere they look in my windows at me they stare they touch me and they talk to me i feel ugly and fat ( im 13 5.2 Ft 111Lbs) i feel invisible in school even though i have many "friends" i feel depressed all the time and think about killing myself ( iv tried suicide 2 times) i hate the way my moms boyfriend looks at me (like im his own personal sex toy) i have nightmares constantly about him raping me and im afraid to wear tight jeans, skirts, tank-tops, shorts, and short-sleeved shirts around him i feel like my friends and my mom want me dead. when i hurt myself i don't cry out or tell any one i feel i deserve far worse pain PLEASE HELP ME!!

Hemal · Accepted Answer

First of all, you certainly don't deserve the pain. I think the ghosts you see might relate to some sort of anxiety you feel. You may feel like people want you dead, but I think it's more to do with you not loving yourself. 

Unless you learn to love yourself first, it is difficult for anyone else to see anything in you. At 13 it's a really hard lesson to learn. I'm 22 and I'm still learning how to do it! But do things to make yourself proud of yourself. 

Work out, when you exercise, your body releases "endorphins", which makes you feel good. This may also help you with your issue of feeling fat. But, that problem is probably more psychological, based on your height and weight. Also helping people around you may make you feel better about yourself.

Try and have a positive outlook on life. You are extremely young and whatever pain you suffer now will make you so much stronger in the future, so take comfort in the fact that if you can get through this you will be a lot stronger than any of your friends or people around you.

As for your mum' b/f, I suggest you don't show any signs of weakness to him. You don't have to wear revealing clothes, but do try and show some confidence (but don't over do), it should seem like "natural" confidence. He will be extremely intimated by it. If you are really concerned about it, call someone for help.

I hope this helps.

EDIT -  I also recommend you check out this website. It might help with building self-esteem. It will only take about 10 minutes to get through it and it might help you get a fresh perspective on things

http://www.life-with-confidence.com/needing-approval.html

hp24 · Answer

I'm really sorry that you're feeling so bad.  I wish I could help more, but there's only so much one can do over the internet.   First of all, You DO NOT deserve any of the pain you're feeling. It sounds like you're struggling with pretty severe depression (if it helps, you're definitely not alone). For depression, exercising and eating healthy really helps, but you also really need to have a support network - people to talk to. Is there an adult in your life you can talk to?  If you're not comfortable talking to your mom, do you have another relative, or teacher, school counselor?  I know its hard, but you really need to let someone know how you're feeling.    

 If you don't have anyone that you're comfortable talking to, you can call 1-800-273-TALK - it's a crisis hotline, and they can give you some human contact right now if you need it.  Also, I think they can recommend counselors in your area.   PLEASE, PLEASE talk to someone....you don't have to suffer alone, there are people out there that really want to help you, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes.  Good luck

Anonymous · Answer

It's really simple:Just smoke a blunt it will ease your *** out..

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Help me Please My Mental state is a mess?

3 Answers