What are some of your all-time favorite jokes?

-ur bus driver. originally 7 kids are on ur bus. on ur first stop 3 kids get off but at ur 3rd stop 8 get on.

what color hair does the bus driver hav??

-their are 3 blondes ladies walking the beach. they find a magic lamp with a genie n it. they rub the lamp and the genie coms he says "usually i grant 3 wishes but snce there are 3 of u u each can hav 1 wish." one blonde shouts "i wish i wasnt dumb anymore!" the genie says alright and turns her into a burnett. the other blonde shouts out " me too! i dont want to be dum anymore either!" he turns her into a red head

the 3rd blonde shouts "well i dont wanna be smart i want to stay dumb Infact i want to b even dumber!"

the genie turns her into a man. =D

-which wud make a bigger splash santa or a dumbh blonde?

neither they both dont exsist

NOT lol jk

-Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock.

They only have $600 left. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'

The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, 'It's just 99 cents a word.' Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'

The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable?'

The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it very slowly ... com-for-da-bull.'

VERY FUNNY!

MAKING A POINT

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy.

"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no" he replies.

"Can you get him for me - I need to speak to him?" she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't" breathes the barman - clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room."

mexican is taking calmly his breakfast, when a typical American, chewing chewing gum, sits down next to you. The mexican ignores the Yankee one, and not very satisfied American with that, tries to do to him conversation asking:

- ' Excuse me ': do you eat the whole bread?

Of course - the mexican answers.

- We do not, only we eat the crumb of inside of the bread and the part of out we put it in a 'container', recycle it, transform it into flour and export to mexico.

The mexican listens in silence, imperturbable. The American keeps on chewing chewing gum and insists:

- Do you eat the jam with the bread?

- Of course, answers the mexican.

- We do not. We in the breakfast eat fresh fruit, put the rind and the seeds in another 'container', recycle them, transform it into jam and export to mexico.

The mexican, already a little shaken, asks him:

- And you: what do they do with the condoms after using them?

- We them pull at the garbage, ' of course '.

- We do not, after using them, put them in a container. We recycle them, transform them into chewing gums and export the United States.

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died.

He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!"

She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.

Her friend said, "I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband."

The loyal wife replied "Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my word.

I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?"

"I sure did" said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, he can spend it."

the Jonas Brothers

cn's Harharharsdays!

How does Hitler tie his shoe??

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He puts notsies on it

[[get it..natzis lol]]

How d'ya stop a jew from drowning?

Take ur foot of his head xD