HELP!!!! what should I do?

It would be wrong to keep the kids from the wedding, unless they really don't want to go. It should be up to THEM.

Since you are the custodial parent, and she is not, therefore she can't be expected to do too much for the kids, the law is against her efforts towards the kids, right?

It is wrong to not let kids see her just because of your own anger at her.

Please try to separate these two issues in your mind. Kids still may want to see their mother and they should be able to do so.

My oh my these custody situations are complicated. By now, its been 4 years, you should have gotten over the business of getting back at her or her doing that to you. I hate power and control deals where one parent plays games off against the other out of jealousy, spite or worse.

By now, if she marries and divorces 15 times, that doesn't change the fact she is the mother of your children and always will be.

I would talk with HER first and ask her how you should let the kids know. This way, it won't be a "you told them without my wanting you to" situation/ Make HER a part of the decision to tell and that way, there won't be a fight or hard feelings.

It would be WRONG to keep your kids from their mothers wedding, in my opinion.

If she doesn't care enough to call the kids and tell them early then she doesn't deserve to have them at her wedding and the kids deserve better. If they want to go when she tells them, then fine. If not, just tell her it was too short notice and they have plans... like something you scheduled. You might to schedule something now and tell them so that they don't feel like they're lying when she asks them. Just make it a picnic or camping... nothing too fancy.

she wont break the cycle shes on ,sorry for that i know it sucks,she and her fiance dont give a crap about noones feelings but their ownask the kids what they think of the situation and of the new hubby if they dont like him or if it would b traumatic on them then dont send them,sounds like shes gona do the same thing again and again dont want the kids thinking its ok to get married 50 times

first talk to the kids and see how they feel about there mom marrying another man, and if they are fine with it yea let them go, and if she wants her children there then I guess it will be fine, but never hold anything back from your children