uk joke nhs..............?

Ha ha! Good to know Ms.Tiptree was in tip-top condition!

*(Sorry, couldn't resist! )

It's true, though. NHS doctors hardly tell you anything!

Immigration schemes are much more complex than the "bus stop conversation" answer. Normally Governments do not cater for the interests of anybody, not only of their own citizens, therefore in allowing immigration flows there are a number of benefits for the Governments and maybe in the long run also for the citizens. I understand the frustration but please keep in mind that immigration has always happened since the very beginning of the human race. In England, for example, the Anglo-Saxons, were tribes who came from Germany in the 5th century. Before there were the Romans, followed by a multitude of different people from all the possible races. We think at the NHS and the Council Houses and benefits, but remember that each of this immigrant will spend that money in UK services and goods that will help the economy. Also, each service and good carries with it VAT and other taxes that go back to the Government somehow. Finally, it is more expensive a day of war than 1,000 immigrants per year. The current UK government is a quite valid government in a VERY difficult time, however, I would suggest to contact your local MP to get more adequate clarifications.

These are better:

after numerous rounds of "we don't know if bin laden is still alive" Osama decided in his own hand writing to let him know he was still in the game

bush opens the letter and it appears to contain a secret coded message 370HSSV-0773H

bush was baffled, so he typed it out and e-mailed it to colin powell, colin and his aides have no clue either so they send it to the CIA, months went past USA was put on red alert the country was placed in a state of self imposed curfew. So it went to NSA then to MIT, NASHA and to the special secret service. Eventually they asked Britian's MI6 for help. they cabled the white house "tell the president he is looking at the message upside down."

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you are on the bus when you suddenly realize..you need to fart. the music on the bus is really loud, so you time your fart with the beat, after A couple of songs, you start to feel better as you aproach your stop, as you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and looking really angry, that's when you remember, you've been listening to your ipod.

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Two Italian men sit behind a women on a bus, she ingores their conversation at first, but it shocked when she hears this: (strong italian accent)

"Emma comes first, then i come, two A sses, they come together, then i come again den two A sse, they come again i come again and pee twice, den i come once more"

"you pigs" the lady yells, "in this country, we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "hey coola down lady" the man says. I'mma just tellin my friend how to spella mississippi :P

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this one is kind of racist sorry if i offend anyone =/

why do mexicans only cross the border in groups of twos or fours? but never three? because all of the signs posted on the border say no tres' passing :P

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a teacher was teaching lil johhny math in school, Teacher: if i give you 2 rabbits then 2 more and another 2 how many do you have? Johnny: 7

Teacher: no listen again...i give you 2 rabbits another 2 then 2 mote how many do you have? Johhny: 7 Teacher: ok let me ask you this if i have 2 apples and i give you 2 and another 2, how much do you have? Johnny: 6 Teacher: good now if i give you 2 rabbits and 2 more and another 2 how much do you have? Johnny: 7!!! teacher: where the hell you getting 7 from? Johnny: cause i have one at home!!!!

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two men at airport, first man says "i can't find my wife." second says "i can't find mine either. "what does yours look like? 1st man says. "she's 6ft tall, blond, big jugs. long legs, mini skirt, stockings, high heels and boob tube, what's yours look like? 2nd man says " ***** her, we'll look for yours" :P

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ooo man my all time favorite one

a guy a new sports car and starts speeding down the highway. cop tries to pull him over, but the guys keeps going, thinking "he'll never catch me in this car" . after a while, reality sets in and he can't believe he's doing this, so he pulls over. when the cop comes up, he's very angry he tells the guy that he's had a very long day he is at the end of his shift, and writing up this incident would take another hour, so if the guy can give one good reason why he didn't pull over, he'll let him go. guy thinks a while then says "my wife let me last week for a cop and i thought you were him trying to give her back". cop stifles a laugh and

says "have a nice day"

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whats the difference between a wife and a prositute? onces on contract and the other is pay as you go.

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40 minutes ago - 4 days left to answer.

Additional Details

only in america can a pizza get to your house faster then an ambulance, 2. only in america...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating ring, 3. only in america do drugstores make the sick walk al the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigaretttes at the front 4. only in america do people order double cheeseburger, large fries, and a diet coke. 5

• ok, so there are these three girls, a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde( no offense to blondes, by the way)

They r running from the police and come across three sacks, one filled with puppies, one with kittens, and one with potatoes. (dont question the sacks) So the brunette hides in the puppy sack, the redhead hides in the kitten sack, and the blonde, of course, hides in the potatoes. The police come and kick the puppy sack, and the brunette says "arf, arf" so they move on. They kick the kitty sack and the redhead goes "meow" so they move on. Then they kick the sack with the potatoes, and the blonde goes "PO-TA-TO!!!"

yeah, guess who got caught.

Old classic still funny as can be.I nominate Drama Queen as BA.Also a great english student.

hahahahhahahahhah clever mrs tiptree!..hahahhahaa

Haha, you made me smile and you're holding me back from doing my chores.

I laughed.

haha... very funny and original

OMG, thats a crazy joke!!!! LOL!!!!!!

Lol.