Really uncomfortable with MIL's new boyfriend and don't like him touching my children?

I think that you should go with your instincts. After, when you're a parent you're never too over protective. I completely understand that you do not feel comfortable letting your kids call him grandpa. Honestly, so that you don't cause animosity between you and your mother in law, you should set up a time and place where the both of you can meet alone. Explain to her that you do trust her judgement, and tell her not to take it personally, but that you'd really prefer that they do not call him Grandpa. But, tell her gently so that she doesn't feel bad or disrespected. Clarify it to her, that it has nothing to do with her personally, and that you wanted to set up this meeting to clear up any bad feelings, that she may have or think that you may have towards her. With your sister in law, set up play dates, switch it out from your house and the park, that way the kid's still get to play, but they stay away from him. I think that your motherly instincts are warning you of something negative that you are feeling from him. I am also very picky about who comes around me, and I am not comfotable getting all huggy, especially with men that are in the family, but not directly in my blood line. Good luck and best wishes!

I'd sit down with my husband first and talk it out, but ultimately we would probably go and sit down with my mother in law together and firmly tell her that in no uncertain terms that this fellow is new to our lives and even hers as they never spoke or saw each other for forty years so they really don't know eachother either....she would be told that there is absolutely no way under the son that my children would call him grandpa and that he is to leave them alone until the day arrives that you may feel comfortable with him interacting with them...then and only then when I give the word may he have anything to do withe them. I would also tell her that he needs to respect my personal space as well and to keep his hands off me. I would explain to her that I am not trying to be a *****, but I do not knwo this guy and he gives me bad feelings. Mothers intuition is usually right and that hopefully she can understand and accept my terms but if she can not then she will have to stay away from her grandchildren if he is going to be around. She will be told that she can not take the children if he is in her life...that she can only come to our house to see them etc. good luck...this can be a tough one, but you have to be strong and firm.

I agree with the others - go with your gut feeling!!

It is really hard, especially when family is so important. I have a similar problem with my parent's foster son, I will never trust him around my little girl (it started as what I felt as an unnatural interest in nappy change time when she was a baby and other close calls as she has gotten older), and that's really sad when I consider how we used to stay at our grandparent's place in school holidays and I can not knowingly allow my girl to do the same thing with her's. I tried to approach it with my mum also, but her head is firmly planted in the ground

Of course your MIL is going to think her Bf is trustworthy, Your the mother and you should trust your instincts. God forbid anything bad happens. Who cares who's feelings you hurt your kids come first. This not something that you should feel bad about because you can never be to careful or overprotective of your children.

I say trust your mommy insticit

Run.

keep your kids AWAY