Chuck Norris!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

There is no Ctrl button on chucks computer, he is always in control.

Giraffes were born when Chuck Norris Upper-cutted a horse.

When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with 1 bird.

Chuck Norris's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There are no races, just different people that Chuck has beaten up to the shades of black or blue.

A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his *** kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.