Jokes anyone? tell me some jokes?

1.)

Two housewives got drunk in a nightout...

along their way home they felt their stomach crumpling so they take a 'poo-poo' on a cemetery where they happen to pass by...

The first housewife used her underwear panties as a tissue. The other one found a wreath and made it her cleaning agent.

The day after, their husbands talked and said:

Husband 1: I think we should keep an eye on our wives. My wife

came home last night without her undies on...

Husband 2: My wife is worst. She came home with a card on her

'******' saying: "We'll never forget you, from the guys of

Marketing Department"!!! (",)

2.)

Couple traveling by car, not talking after a fight...

passing farm of goats, mules & pigs. Husband asked sarcastically:

"relative of yours?"

Wife replied: "Yup, in-laws"

A man on vacation in Spain goes into a restaurant and immediately encounters a delicious aroma. He figures out it's coming from a dish being served to a man near him and so he calls the waiter and asks, "What is that man over there eating? It smells great!"

The waiter says, "Those are the bull testicles from the bullfight this morning, Senor."

The man is a little taken aback at this, but orders them nevertheless, and sure enough, they're delicious.

He comes back the next day and orders the same thing. He finds it as good as before, but is a little disappointed by the skimpy size of the dish. So he calls the waiter over again and complains, "it was still good, but you didn't give me very much!"

The waiter replies, "Si, Senor, sometimes the bull wins."

35th Wedding Aniversary

A married couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary. During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one wish. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and poof - the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise. Next, the fairy asked the husband what he wanted. He said; "I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me." So the the fairy picked up her wand and poof - the husband was 90.

Here is a joke .... My love life

a man is in a bar and he sees a little irish man in green clothes. He goes up to the man.

"ARE U A LEPRECHAUN?!"

"why yes i am. now that you found me, you can have three wishes. but there's a catch, YOU have to grant me one wish"

the man agrees

"my wishes are to have all the money in the world, all the women in the world, and all the cars in the world"

"alright, it is done. But now you have to grant MY wish. I want you to let me anal fck u"

the man agrees. afterwards, he turns to the leprechaun and says

"WOW i can't believe I met a leprechaun!"

The leprechaun laughs and says

"WOW i can't believe you REALLY think i'm a leprechaun!"

a very short man storms into a police station and shouts "someone just picked my pocket!!"

one cop turns to another and mutters, "how could anyone stoop so low?"

what do yo do with 365 used rubbers?

>> melt them down, make a tire, and call it a GOOD YEAR! ;-)

don't you just hate people who fart then they are the first one to say "who farted'.[brainwashing u to apologize for something u didn't do].

why does snoop dogg carry an umbrella ?

fo drizzle !!

That's what she said.