Feel like ending my life right now?

Hi Tom

I'm Shane, I was bullied all though grade school, I was small, thin, weak, and one of those weird kids that always read by himself in the hall by the principles office during lunch because it was safe.

Divorced parents, jerky brothers, bad acne, poor, and I too contemplated suicide at around your age.

But I didn't.

By high school I had put on a couple of inches and a couple stone of muscle by volunteering at the community center doing whatever needed doing - gardening, landscaping, lawn mowing, hauling garbage, etc. That turned into a part time job that that let me afford to buy cool clothes and have pocket money. I also had trouble in school until my parents gave up the cable because it cost too much; not having TV resulted in me spending more time reading and studying, which got me better grades.

From there I became a programmer, learned to dance, and leaned to listen to girls talk about things that interested them. That resulted in being happily married and having a good job - and when I run into the the guys that bullied me they are often working **** fast food or retail jobs.

Don't despair, at 13 you literally have like 80% of your life ahead of you, and the only constant in life is change.

When they spit in your face tell them that you fell sorry for them, shake your head and walk away. They are the ones dishonoring themselves. That kind of **** doesn't fly once you hit puberty - girls don't like assholes, confidence yes, assholeishness no.

Overweight is easy to fix - Eddie Izzaard just ran 47 marathons on 51 days, if that chubbo can do it at his age I'm sure you can get outside every afternoon and run for an hour or two. Sit ups and push ups every morning and night. Change your diet to 60% steamed vegetables, 20% lean meat, 20% whole grain - no processed foods, drink water instead of soda. By the time you hit 15 you'll be lean, ripped, and your body will have responded to the demands by growing taller and stronger. As an added bonus the exercise will actually make your body create the hormones that make you feel happy.

Find a community center that has martial arts training, or a boxing gym. If you can't afford classes approach the manager and ask if you can trade volunteer work for classes - the worst they can say is no, the best they can say is 'Really? Want a job?'.

Ginger? **** them, lots of girls think redheads are hot - and the only time that a guys opinion of how you look matters is if he's gay; and if your open minded and smart you'll take his advice on how to dress and style your hair because he'll probably have a really good idea of how to make you look good to girls (and from personal experience being known as a straight guy that has gay friends makes you more attractive to women because then they know your not a sexist, discriminatory douchebag).

Emo music, don't mean a thing - I'm a Canadian raised at a time when everyone was listening to Led Zepplin, Black Sabbath, and New Kids on the Block - and I listened to The Smiths, the Cure, and Classical Music. I ended up hanging out with all the girls in the Art and Theater clubs after school listening to music because they liked it too. Music appreciation is all about personal taste - you like what you like, screw em if they disagree.

There is a GIANT world full of fun and adventure past the end of your street and after you finish school, don't miss out on it.

Okay, I won't point out that you'll be an adult in a few years and able to plan a better life for yourself.

I will say that overweight is something that can be worked on with a bit of exercise (which is also good for depression btw). And that ginger can be totally hot, look at Prince Harry for F sake, he's considered sexy.

Stop with the Emo music, that would make anyone suicidal. Be grateful your ill parents live in a country with National Health. If you were living in my country they'd just die off and there'd be nothing you could do about it.

Tell your Head Master about the bullying, that's not right and you're only making it worse by letting it continue. AND start writing... All the great writers, well most of them, were depressive headcases in their teen years. This goes doubly for British writers and I think you're probably British.

So, I haven't suggested you not kill yourself, just offered some other options that might make the rest of your childhood more manageable. Talking to a youth counselor wouldn't be a bad thing either if you feel comfortable seeking one out.

Okay, so, first of all, add me

vicky_angel888@hotmail.com

Second of all,

You have to find something in life to look forward to.

Thats kind of how I stop thinking about school. And have you though of talking to a teacher about the kids at your school? They can get in a lot of trouble.

People liek them won't go anywhere in life, they arent worth your time. And take that out of your mind. That is the dumbest idea Ive ever heard. killing yourself? Come on man, Im sure everything will be alright. And im not telling you "things will get better" because I cant promise that. But you can try to make some friends, maybe join some sort of sports team? Find someone with similiar interests, and make friends. Its always easier when you have friends. I hope your mom and dad get better. Also, your 13? Im guessing your still in elelmentery. Well next year you can start fresh and you will be able to make many friends! Everyone find someone to make friends with in high school. But if you are already in highschool, try to do a little searching. Maybe you'll find someone!

If people are beating you up, try calling crime stopper. Its an anonymous police thing. Because those people arent aloud to do that to you.

And who cares if your ginger! I love gingers, soon theyre gonnna be exstinct!

And if you think your overweight, then maybe try to lose some weight until your feeling confident and healthy!

Hope I helped,

Vicky.

Hi Tom,

I had few friends as a boy; bullied at secondary school every week and my father was mentally cruel. My mum stopped loving me at 11 years but I didn't have suicidal thoughts at your age or before. I was eventually sent to a special school for "delicate" boys. As your young life seems a nightmare, have you thought about asking your parents about sending you to a special school? No one has the right to bully you; they are cowards! You sound very intelligent and with adult counselling and being prescribed anti-depressants from your doctor- you may find there is hope. You already have some hope or you wouldn't bother writing your question. Don't wait for you to be admitted to a psychiatric unit; act now and confide in a trusted relative, doctor or teacher.

Tom, if you feel like talking me- please contact saworcsgrp@hotmail.co.uk

By the way I didn't get a decent education until I was 20 years. Please don't worry- you have a long life ahead of you!

Take care of yourself from Frankie.

At your age and through college I went through a major bout of depression. I was like two seperate people. First I made the best friends and can look back as this being some of the best times of my life. But it was being overshadowed by the other me battling the depression. It'll get better eventhough it may not seem so. Now I'm going to break down your question and I'm speaking on experience. Life seldomly goes smoothly but if it did it would get rather boring, life is a challenge go out there and face it. You win some you lose some. Unless income is a dire need and as a student and 17 you are not likely to make that much difference in the income spectrum. Forget about work for now and concentrate on your studies. Unless you improve your grades the types of jobs you'll get now will be the same ones you are stuck with for the rest of your life. Past life? ok lets just say this is true what can you do about it now? Just work on you, now. Remember the quantity of friends are never more important than the quality. Most people you consider as friends will only see you as the same when they can use you for something. There will also be people that talk bad about other people. Its because they need to find away to cover their insecurities and feel better about themselves. Everybody has issues and go about them differently some people belittle others so they can feel better and others hold it in like yourself as well as I did. You broke up with your bf for being abusive? Well good for you! Many people prey on others they see as weak. Same as the job, work on you and worry about a relationship later. Not everybody hates you, I promise. Again get to work on being you and not what others want you to be. As you are becoming who you are supposed to be you will lose some "friends" but you will gain more true friends as well. Some people are users and will never appreciate what others do for them. It may be hard to realize it at this time but they are the ones missing out. Why do you feel like you deserve anything? Life is a challenge. Get out there and take it on. Live it and it'll get better. If you were just handed whatever you feel you deserve it would become boring rather quickly. Your best friend may be ignoring you because you are projecting your self-pity. Become a happier person on the outside; Eventhough, on the inside you are miserable. Your grades may be suffering because you are putting too much pressure on yourself. Believe me a lot of people feel the way you do and very little of the population are living the "fabulous life" you think they are.

hey Tom, I think there is a couple of things you can do to get your life on track. First, you have to do something about the bullying. Tomorrow, stand up to those kids. Ignore what others will think of you, if someone insults you, tell them you could beat them. They will laugh, but you may actually accomplish something. If they hit you, you hit them back. I this doesn't work tell a teacher. Tell her everything you wrote in that paragraph above. That should get her attention. I am guessing you live in an impoverished area for kids to be able to beat you up and be that mean to you. I think you need to get away from all those kids. You should tell your teacher about going to a foster home. Then you would have parents that could help you, and no mean children. If you want more help contact me calebricardi@yahoo.com

Hi Tom. I am so sorry that you are having such a hard life. I also was bullied when I was growing up. But, it does get better. What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger, if you decide that that is how you will see it. Decide in your heart that nobody can destroy you but you. Have faith in Jesus that He will open doors for you to meet new friends, and that He will help your parents. He has worked wonders in my life. If you want to talk, you can message me through Y!A. I don't try to contact anyone through personal messaging. Until I get to know them on here. It isn't safe. Be careful, ok? I will be praying for you. Find a good church to go to, you will always find friends there.

Dont kill yourself. Sometimes in life things get really bad before they get better. About a year ago I lost my job I got really sick my mothers blood pressure was very high she was hospitalized during christmas. I did not have money to pay the bills. I was almost homeless. I myself was so sick I could hardly get out of bed, and i gained almost 20 pounds. But you know what things did get better. And I'm not just saying that. I look at my life now and I can already see the change because I believed, prayed and hoped things would get better and it is.

I looked at my life and didnt want people to feel sorry for me and I was tired of feeling sorry for myself.

Most people were bullied some point in their lives...maybe it was at school, by a parent, or brother or sister. I was bullied but I didnt let it bother me. because you know what, those people are stuck in my boring hometown with 2 and 3 kids. while i'm living in a big city having fun and going for my masters degree....whos the nerd now.

Next time those bullies at school mess with you just turn to them and say...(is your life that bad that you have to live through mine. find something better to do with time and maybe you'll find happiness).

Life will get better...Life is what you make it, its short so have fun. dont let anyone ruin that for you.*

I know that no matter how low one feels you are looking for help. Do you have any older neighbors, you could go help with their yard work. Do you have animals in the neighborhood, you could go feed them.

I am not sure if you could get a volunteer job at the hospital yet but volunteer work is serving others and that gets our mind off of ourselves. NOt that you aren't needing help yourself but for real, go do some volunteer work. IF you can do it in the neighborhood that is better, need no transportation. My husband was small, bullied even in the Sunday School room and he felt low frequently too. Please look for a Bible and read in John, New Testament part of the Bible. Jesus can help you feel better about yourself. And like I said volunteer work, helping others helps us. Even if in the neighborhood, helping others pick up their grass and bag it, helping someone put out their trash. My mother would love you to come and help her put out the trash too.

Please do not end your life man. I understand what it is like to be bullied. I used to get picked on my this older kid in my neighborhood when I was younger. It was an awful experience, and feeling lonely is definatly something that I can relate to since I have moved around a lot in my life and always ended up having to make new friends. I have had thoughts of suicide to so I can identify with you but as life goes on I hope things can better for you. There is a Person Who can change your life. His name is Jesus Christ. He loves you very much and He made you in His image, and believe me when I say this, but you are precious to Him. You are not a mistake, my friend, He cares about you very much, and understands what you are going through. He was beaten , mocked, laughed, at, tortured, and ultimately murdered. But He rose again, and Jesus wants to be in your life, for He can change it. God is in my life and He has helped me accept myself since I used to struggle with self hatred, and insecurity. But God has helped me overcome it. I will be praying for you buddy. God loves you, and so do I. God bless you my friend