He left me, what now?

I fell in love, I think for the first time. I never believed in love at first sight, or marriage, or anything. I turned down guys for 2 1/2 years, and I was not looking for a relationship. Then Randy came along. I don't know how to explain it, but I fell in love the moment I saw him.

Now I don't want anyone to think this was just a petty relationship that didn't matter. I moved in with some friends, where he was staying. I'm not going to go into what a hellhole that place was. No drugs or anything, but watching 7 kids and cleaning up after them plus another 7 adults...hell. But I stayed for Randy. We were engaged but for personal reasons I temporarily called it off. But I still wanted to marry him.

We started fighting over petty things, but it was never lasting anger. We were doing good. Well one day he gave one of the kids a pop on the butt, which is what the parents requested be done when the kids will not go to the corner or their room. He ended up hitting Stormy on the leg. I flipped out, not realizing that it was because she threw a fit and rolled over. I had told him before that if he were to leave that initially I would not go with him, but instead stay until he was able to get a job and a decent place to stay. Where we were staying we were not able to get jobs because they needed us as babysitters. Well after I yelled at him, he walked off. I thought he would be back. He never came back.

He called the next morning, told me he had a job and was staying with a friend. I talked to him about it but the last thing I said to him was "Prove yourself to me." and then I hung up. I regret that call everyday. He never called again. I got ahold of the friend he was staying with, and asked him to tell Randy to call me. No call. 4 days later I called his friend again. The day I had called originally Randy talked to Cedric (the friend he was staying with) and said he was just going to go ahead and walk home. When Cedric got home Randy wasn't there. He hadn't called or anything, so he drove around town for 2 hours looking for Randy. Since that day I have not seen him, heard from him, anything.

I immediately called jails, hospitals, even the sheriffs office. I haven't been able to get ahold of Randy's mom, but he is not allowed on her property because of his step-father.

I don't know where he is, if hes ok, or anything.

He used to be bad into drugs, but he had been sober for about a year. I thought maybe he would have run off to another friends house, but then where would he get the money for drugs? His family would not loan him money or anything.

I just don't understand. I don't know what else to do. I never thought he would leave me. I know he loved me, but sometimes I wonder if he stopped loving me. I can never stop loving him I know. I cannot let go until I know he's ok, and even then I don't know.

I just moved out of the place we were staying, so he won't be able to find me. He left his birth certificate and ID behind, and it is still there.

Tempie & George both say this is something he has done before.

I'm scared that he maybe has done something to hurt himself too. He said before that he could not handle another break up. But we never really broke up. I'm so scared they will find his body on the side of the road, or in the middle of the woods somewhere....

He has been gone since October 13th or 15th I'm not sure. I know it doesn't seem like a long time, but when the person you love is missing, it's a lifetime.

I need some advice on what to do, should I just wait and see if he comes home? Should I try the sheriffs office again and place a missing persons report? I have been keeping updated with the local newspapers too. Should I just try and forget about him? Is there another way to find him?

Please help me out. Thank you.