Should I skip school tomorrow?

Catherine, you have every right to be outraged, horrified and hurt, and I understand why you feel humiliated. I'd probably cry angry tears of frustration if my mother pulled such a childish, selfish, stunt, and if you want to punch a pillow or scream, go ahead. But please realize that none of this is your fault, and that you are no way responsible for the actions of your parents. They are the ones who erred, not you. They are the ones failing in their roles, not you. And your mom is the one who should be ashamed of herself, not you. Any reasonable, mature person would realize that the emails were entirely the fault of your mom, and not blame you in any way for them. I think it's important for you to go to school and hold your head high because you have absolutely no reason to keep it down. If I was your teacher or coach and received such an email I'd be terribly worried about you, and even more concerned if you didn't come to school the next day, and fearful that you'd been harmed. I imagine they will be relieved to see you! They are adults. They know that people can behave erratically and irrationally while drunk, and they'll most likely realize that your mom was not in a sound state of mind when she sent the emails, and that her words are not a genuine reflection of you, or your feelings. Plus, I doubt you're the only one at your school whose parents have ever embarrassed them in such a manner. A couple of years ago a girl who was then a senior at my school, very popular and the vice president of her class, was mortified when her father, who was a well-known and successful music producer, came to the school at lunchtime hungover and extremely emotional, and cried in front of everyone for having gotten drunk the night before and slapped her. None of us thought less of her in any way, and neither did the teachers, and we admired her very much for having the courage to come back to school the next day, shoulders back and head up. She's a sophomore at college now doing very well. You may not realize this, but people admire you too. You've been handed far more baggage than many adults could handle, and yet at such a young age you have done your very best with it, and are successful, genuine and bright, and you have promising future ahead of you. You're extremely articulate and thoughtful, responsible, an athlete at your school, cultured, and just an all-around lovely girl. You remind me of a young Queen Katherine, Henry VIII's first wife, who maintained her dignity and resolve in the most trying of circumstances.

If I can see all these qualities in you simply from your Q&A and the emails you've sent me, your teachers can too. Send them an email, or go and talk to them tomorrow, and simply explain that your mother wasn't herself when she sent the messages filled with false statements to them, and that you apologize on her behalf and would like for them to know that you enjoy their class / participating in the sport they coach, and would appreciate it if they could please disregard what she wrote to them because you would like to focus on the work that needs to be done and move forward. Perhaps you could talk to a guidance counselor at your school about your frustrations at home. Venting and talking things through could be therapeutic for you.

As for the French and math homework, do the best you can and be done with it. You'll do better next time. Ask your dad if you could visit him. I know in previous questions you've said that he doesn't want you to come see him in prison, but it could be very beneficial to you both. You realize that he did something wrong, but you are wise enough to know that even intelligent, well-meaning people screw up sometimes, and you still love and need him in your life, and he should know that. If you don't have time to wash your uniform, throw it in the dryer for a few minutes with some fabric softener sheets or potpourri stuffed into a thin, clean sock and tied off with a pony tail holder or rubber band, then iron it and you'll be good to go.

(((((Catherine))))))

Peace

a

x

Edit -

For some reason, the additional details about having already missed quite a few days didn't show up on the browser I was using, so I didn't read them when I wrote my answer. That's just another reason why you need to go to school tomorrow. I think it will be less stressful short and long-term for you to go. If you stay home it will just prolong your anxiety about having to see your teacher and coach, and you'll probably spend the day worrying rather than relaxing. Plus, if your mom is at the house at the same time you'll have to put up with her, and that will just multiply the knots of stress you're dealing with. If you get sick and need to take another day off school at some later point, you'll have yet another stressor to contend with. I do think you need a break, though. Can you carve out time over the weekend to sleep in and pamper yourself? Do some yoga, paint your nails, treat yourself to a new magazine or lipgloss, go for a run or hike, or do whatever else will make you feel calmer and more relaxed.

I'm sorry you have to deal with all this, Catherine. :( *Hugs*

If you really feel you can't handle tomorrow, take a personal day. Recoup, get your mind together, and you'll be ready to face the next day. Perhaps talk to the teachers and coaches and say that she wasn't exactly in the right mind when she wrote those emails? If sports is your only escape, you should definitely keep playing, even if she said you can't.

Surely there are counsellors at your school? Maybe you should talk to them some time. You don't have to tell them ALL about your problems, but they can help with stress and talking to your mother about staying in the sports you like if it happens again.

*Hugs*

♥

=]

no not unless it's authorized by your parents, because it is illegal to skip school. It really doesn't matter what your plans are, just wait until the weekend to do those things. My opinion is not to skip school. Since you're probably in high school if you're thinking about skipping, you should think more about your grades for college! how will skipping school effect them? If its just a one time thing, and your parents are okay with it, go for it :-)

Aw, Catherine, I'm sorry. :( *hugs*

If you really don't feel like going to school, I don't think you should, but I think you should stay out of her way when you're home. It would be a good way, like Livvy said, to recoup and get your mind back together.

Make sure when you go back to school, that you make clear that your mom was under the influence, and she didn't mean to write those things. Convince your coach/school to let you play sports again.

If I were you, when your mom is in better state of mind, have her have a talk with the teacher/coach/school that she emailed and make her apologize. Surely your teachers don't believe that you HATE math..etc etc.

Just stay by your brother. He knows what he's doing, and I think you guys should talk to her about her behavior.

And for your uniforms..maybe you could take them to the local laundromat tomorrow or something, or do it the old fashioned way, on a wire. [Just kidding about the wire part, but seriously..] And definitely talk to a school counselor, everything's confidential, and I'm sure it would make you feel better.

Hope you feel better, and I'm sorry about your mom. *hug*

♥xxx

:]

Well, first, you have to tell your coach and your math teacher or your guidance consular (I don't know which you'd prefer) and tell them that this was an email from your mom she wrote at a time of "disorientation and anger" (you don't have to say drunk), and, as crazy as it sounds, you don't feel that way.

I can't tell you "skip school" because that would make me feel like a horrible person. But I will say that you're under a lot of stress, and, if you really think you'll probably completely meltdown at school, do what you think you should.

go to school. it will make you look worse if you stay home. tomorrow if they say anything to you just be like im sorry i dont have a very good home life and my mom was drinking last night. she didnt know what she was saying. prove to them you are not like her. as for the homework and test thing im sure everyone at one point doesnt study for a test or have their homework. good luck hun.

emilyelisabeth

skip school...if she ever has any regret when she realizes what she did, you'll be in luck, otherwise, stay out of her way and just don't say any extra info to her unless she asks first. I have this problem, but my dad is the one that gets drunk, its never gone THAT far though

Yes

You do not need to skip school tomorrow. What you really need to do it go to school and talk to the counselor. Tell him or her about your moms alcohol problems and about the rude emails. You do not need to live like that.

Wow, that's tough. I think you should go to school, but try to make an appointment with a guidance counselor and if you can't, try to talk to all of your teachers and explain ahead of time so they know what's going on. I know school will probably suck, but it's still a better idea to just go and sort stuff out instead of avoiding it. And if you really need to, you could always go home "sick". Good luck!