Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and beginning April 20th, 2021 (Eastern Time) the Yahoo Answers website will be in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.
Trending News
Japanese boyfriend...?
I'm a 16 year old girl from NZ, and I have a Japanese boyfriend. We've been together for about 20 months, and it was going really well. But I have found that he has been putting huge amounts of pressure on me, wanting me to finish university as soon as possible and then go to Japan and marry him. He might as well be picking out names for our children! He is a foreign exchange student at my school, and will attend my school until we graduate high school, then he will return to Japan for university. All of this pressure is driving me insane! And I just want out of this relationship! But I tried to talk to him about it and he was begging me not to leave him. He was saying that he can't live without me, and he's never loved someone so much. He is my first boyfriend and I am his first girlfriend. I don't know what to do anymore! I told him I needed space and I needed time to think about things, and then about an hour later he's already sent me an email, and he's been sending me txt messages throughout the day. I said maybe we'd be better off as friends, but he then told me this was not Japanese culture so it wouldn't be possible? Is he lying to me about this whole Japanese culture thing? Because I do love him, it's just not working and I don't want to leave my home in NZ to be with him because we're still young! He's planning our entire future and it's crazy! Please someone help.... this boy is driving me insane... how do I let him go when all he will do is beg for a second chance? Am I being too harsh? Selfish? I just know that being with him is only making me feel unhappy, stressed out, and under crazy amounts of pressure.
3 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Well while I feel no one should be pressured into a relationship, I will remind you that we are both people raised within the anglosphere (that is to say English speaking, former British, colonies) and raised with strong western ideals of individualism and feminist thinking. Japan has a more traditional conservative outlook. I assure you your boyfriend cares deeply for you, and merely wants you to be happy, in the Japanese culture happiness is achieved through hard arduous effort; furthermore there is a stress on domesticity. Should you resist his intentions too much, you may find conflict within his family (as a liberated western female often does in Asian families). I would suggest taking him aside and explaining your western values and give him a firm but agreeable ultimatum; respect and attempt to understand your independence and western ideals, or run the risk of you not being comfortable with being with him anymore. By the same token you should research his culture and ideals as well. And let him know that in our culture people wait for each other and long distance relationships exist and do work.
Best luck and don't throw away love over misunderstood cultural values, but don't let yourself be walked upon either!
Do not listen to "Lol" I think he is a troll, also for your info, I am an Asian, and was dating an Asian Studies major my last three years of college.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
take advice from a asian and knows about japanese stuff. 1. he is totally lying about the japanese culture thing. 2. find a way to break up with him. 3. you're not too harsh, maybe even too soft. 4. don't let him tread into your personal space( or he will not stop). hope this helps.
Source(s): i'm asian!!!!! lolz - 1 decade ago
If you're not happy the relationship won't work and needs to end. It takes two to tango, not one-and-a-half.
