How can I move on from my ex for 5 years?

Ive been where u are.. I married my high school sweetheart when i was 18.. i was so in love with him..gave up everything for him, my future , my friends, he was my entire world.. i felt like i had everything just being with him..and we had 2 children by the time i was 21.. he left when i was 22 for a woman he worked with.. i had never expirenced so much pain in all my life, i thought the world was crumbling down around me.. i felt like i couldnt breathe with out him.. i prayed and wished for him to come back and make me whole again because i was so empty inside, and he was so mean and malicious , and i just took it over and over again because i believed he was just going through something..and to be frank i made it easy for him to leave and to treat me and the kids this way , i was the total doormat, helping him, giving him money for things when he needed it..thinking if i was nice about it, surely he'd see it and come back when he was done going through his melt down.. and he didnt care about my feelings at all.. didnt care if he made me cry , if he hurt our kids, if he broke my heart he was selfish and it was all about him.. what he wanted, what he needed..etc.. it took me YEARSSSSSSSSSSS to realize , i was in love with someone that no longer exsisted.. i was in love with a man that loved me back that promised to never leave, to never hurt me, that promised to love me forever.. but he isnt that man anymore, that man died and a different man took his place.. id never love a man that could break my heart so much, treat me so horribly, hurt me so badly or our kids so badly.. that wasnt what i missed.. i missed the old him.. but that man doesnt exsist so i mourn over a husband as if he was dead to me.. because the man i loved.. no longer walks this earth anymore , someone else someone horrible and mean has taken his place.. fast forward to many years down the road.. he's still a slime ball.. he's cheated on his current wife.. and it just proves it wasnt me.. he just has a characteristic flaw in him, that he cant stay faithful.. he's on his 3rd marriage (i was his first) ... so he has zero respect for marriage.., and i look back and realize he did me a favor.. because now im married to a wonderful man that treats me with respect, treats our marriage with respect.. that appreciates how much i love him, and shows it in return with his actions .. this girl as much as u love her.. she did u a huge favor.. she showed her true colors before you got married and had kids.. she showed how little she respected u , how mean and horrible she could be , how she could stomp on your heart and not think twice meanwhile using u in the process.. if someone would of told u that she could do all this to u , in the begining.. u would of never given her a second thought.. what ur holding on to is the "honeymoon" phase of your relationship.. the good times.. but the bad times spoke volumes about what type of person she really is.. and she saved u from ALOT of pain down the road by showing u who she "really" is.. u dont love the girl that just treated u like trash that she can just throw away.. u loved the girl she "pretended" to be.. and as soon as u realize that.. the sooner u will be able to move on..

I am so sorry. That is horrible. Honestly all you can do is just surround yourself with family, friends and good people. What she did to you, is absolutely not forgivable. Guaranteed she is going to want to come crawling back to you, because she will see what she had and what she has now. You sound like a great person and I think you really should just focus on yourself, and finish up school (if your still in school), focus on your job/career and just focus on bettering yourself. I think that you will find someone else (of course it will take time) and that person will be even better than the girl you were with. Just focus on staying busy and keeping your mind active. Get into some hobbies or join some clubs, make new friends, and put yourself out there. It definitely takes time to let your heart heal and to try and get over her. Especially since you had so much invested in your relationship! Just make sure you keep busy and keep a positive attitude. I really am sorry for what you went through and are continuing to go through, it sucks. But just know that there is someone better out there for you, and you deserve to be happy and find a woman that brings happiness into your life! good luck with everything, and I hope everything works out for you!

So...what's the big problem?

Did your mother not tell to not have sex outside of marriage? Gee - what a concept? Why is this? Because in you having sex just for very fun of it, you actually gave up a piece of yourself to her (and her you) for life! In submitting to sexual "fun" outside the vow of marriage, what you told her (and she you) is that vows and promises DON'T MATTER ! In submitting to you sexually, she told you that she doesn't care about integrity or any kind of moral standard. And then goes of with another guy? So what? She already SCREAMED this to your face by going to bed with you outside of marriage. She doesn't care what "love" is or anything. All she cares about is her own selfish satisfaction. And you're in the same boat! What did you expect? You wanted trash - you got trash.

And this next guy got an even worse piece of trash!

Don't worry. She'll be moving on to someone else very soon.

She is (like you) empty and shallow, juvenile and totally immature in her own identity. The reason that you feel so wounded is because you are too immature to be SINGLE! You are so NEEDY, even to this day, that all you want is her to fill up all your emptiness instead of being whole and complete and a INDIVIDUAL! This is why young people almost always fail at relationships and why young marrieds have a HUGE divorce rate! They are not anywhere "complete" enough in their own identity to give out of a SELFLESS condition for what a REAL relationship takes. You both got together because you are so faulty and incomplete as people, you would just suck the life out of each other. And you succeeded in that. Where did it fail?

It failed when you lowered your moral standards to the point that your NEEDINESS outweighed the integrity that you should have gone into the relationship with.

You pretty much got what you asked for. You wanted a relationship for sex and that's what you got. Perhaps next time you'll come into a relationship with a little higher ideal than getting laid.

a long story indeed. i understand how hard it is. it really is hard. (and painful)

the mistake you did was no, not love a too much but showing too much how you are dedicated to her.

love is a power struggle battle. the one who struggles has the lesser power. in this case, you have the lesser power which made her so easy (comfortable) about it and care less about you.

imagine a glass with water (your love) you almost filled it and she didn't bother to give anymore, see that? the same thing would happen to you again if you will never learn. it is really painful and you will not get over it easily.

long way to go to recover from the pain.

well, look on the brighter side: it isn't your loss, it's her loss. she'll never get another one like you who would love her like the way you did and i am sure as hell that she'll miss you and regret of doing that to you and when that day comes, perhaps you'd be a stronger and a better person.

things happen for a reason and perhaps this is for us to learn.

in the end, someone will come who'd love you like the way you wanted and when it doesn't come, don't worry it's not the end yet.

you'll get over it, i promise, maybe not now, but someday you will. (i did even after 7 long years).

god bless you. ;)

Bro you need to get laid...nothing will take your mind off of her faster than a new piece of ***. Its obvious she has moved on and left you in the past so no need crying about it any longer. I know its tough...we have all been there. I was in your same spot once, I let it get me so crazy that I turned into a stalker..sitting on a 5 gallon bucket in the woods across the street from her house every night just to catch a glimpse of her with this other guy. Best thing you can do is pick yourself up...wipe the dust off, and go find you a new girl...and trust me she is out there and more than likely she will be 10x better than what you thought you had before. And when the ex sees you out with this girl she will come crawling back in a hurry...but be strong and tell her to kiss your ***. You deserve better man....we all do.

Wow that's f'ed up dude. She sounds like a complete and utter b***h!

You deserve way better and there's some girl out there that will treat you 100% better. She didn't consider your feelings one bit at all which means that she didn't really love you.

I myself have gone through a break up too just 2 months ago, so I'm in the same boat. I just keep myself busy and as soon as she pops into my head, I get upset for about 2 minutes until I started doing something to keep me going.

It's so hard but we can get through it, just realise that there is some girl who will treat you loads better.

Do things that make you happy as a person and stay away from relationships for a while until you feel better within yourself.

You should forget about her and focus on you! You start doing things that YOU want to do! Stop yourself thinking of things you used to do together or things you did with her, and focus on what goals you want from life. and if by chance you want what you had with her..... you need to remember two important things. 1st is that if you ever get back together with her things would never be like they were and what you would have is less trust of her. and 2ndly and most importantly you can have that passion again with somebody else! Don't hide yourself away from the world, go out and be with friends and family. Enjoy life! Believe in yourself that you can have what ever you want from life. Also a relationship is made up of two people, you have do things to make you happy don't focus everything on her. And lastly things really do get better with time, as long as you focus on moving forward. You can do it, I believe you can!

you need to spend time with ur friends to take your mind off her, really sorry to say this but it sound as if you were more into the relationship than she was.....

you sound like a lovely person who's had a bad experience, but maybe a lucky escape! you need to address if there was any problems you can think of that made her go off with something else? if not then you are probably best off without her, when the jocks finished with her she'll probably get back in touch but by the sounds of it you could do much better!

best cure for a breakup in my opinion is a good old fashioned bender... drink, party, have fun meet people. Just don't go too overboard and get to a point you can't come back... live your life and one day you;ll wake up and won't miss her anymore.

Many people, included myself, can try to give you advice, and help as much as we can, but I honestly recommend you try to find a good therapist. They know what they are doing and can be very helpful. Don't feel bad if you go to see a therapist, many people do it and receive help for their problems. Good luck, I wish the best for you.