What is your favourite joke?

An elderly Italian man who lived in the outskirts of Monte Cassino went to the local church for confession.

He said: "Father, during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy. So I hid her in my attic."

The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, my son and you have no need to confess that."

"It's worse than that, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favors."

The priest said: "By doing that, you were both in great danger. However, two people together under those circumstances are greatly tempted to act that way. But if you! are truly sorry for your actions, you are forgiven."

"Thank you Father. That's a great load off my mind. But I have one more question."

"And what is that?" said the priest.

"Should I tell her the war is over?"

A group of Asian women were visiting a village located in South Africa. They came across a booth selling human breast. One of the Asian lady asked the butcher, “Why are you selling women’s breast?” The butcher replied, “In Ouagadougou, we have found that consuming women’s breast can increase men’s sex drive, and enlarge the size of their penis.”

Hearing about the “enlarging the penis” the Asian woman was determined to buy some for her husband. She quickly asks the butcher for the price of the breast. “Well,” says the butcher, “It depends on what kind of breast you want. We have black breast, white breast, and Asian breast.”

“Give me the price of each!”, said the Asian lady impatiently. “The black breasts are $200 a pound,” the butcher says. “White breasts are $300 a pound, and the Asian breasts are $400 a pound.”

The Asian women were glad to hear that Asian breasts were the most expensive in the breast booth. “Hey, not bad! Asian breasts are worth more!”, said one of the Asian ladies.

“No no no, you don’t understand,” the butcher explains, “you don’t know how many Asian women we have to kill to get one pound of breast!”

Oh, I'm tired of Chuck Norris jokes..

In the morning, a blonde enters a restaurant with a carton of orange juice. She puts the orange juice on the table and stares at it.

The store is about to close down and the blonde is still staring at the orange juice. A waiter comes and asks the blonde, "Excuse me, we are about to close for the evening, I'm afraid your going to have to leave."

"No" They blonde replies.

"Why not?" questions the waiter.

"The carton says "concentrate".

Or...

There are three girls going to a water park for the day. One is brunette, one is a redhead and the last is a blonde. When they get to the park, they see a Magic Wishing Slide. They decide to give it a go.

The brunette is the first to go down the slide. She yells 'Monneeeeeeeey!!!'. When she shoots out of the end of the slide, she lands in a pool of money.

The redhead is next. She slides down and

yells 'Chocccollate!!!'. When she shoots out of the end, she landed in a pool of chocolate.

The blonde slides down screaming 'WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!'. When she shoots out of the end, she lands in a pool of...

...

...

...

...

WEE!!!

Sorry if you're blonde

A man walked into a bar.

His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

Jesus Christ walked on water; Chuck Norris swims through land.

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because the last one that had a dream got shot.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

(If male) Depends on how many females are near!

OR

He/She would chuck, and chuck, and chuck, and chuck, and chuck, and chuck, and chuck, and chuck, and chuck, and chuck, and chuck, and chuck, and chuck, and chuck , and chuck, and chuck, and chuck, and chuck, and chuck, and chuck... (Get the point?)

Why are my roundhouse kicks so powerful?

BECAUSE THEY ARE CHUCK NORRIS ROUNDHOUSE KICKS

HAHAHAHAHAHAH

GIVE ME BEST ANSWER OR YOU WILL KNOW THE ACTUAL ANSWER THEY ARE POWERFUL........ from experience