Anyone got any good blonde jokes?

Q: What do you call an eternity?

A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?

A: Toes Go In First.

Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFOs have in common?

A: You always hear about them but never see them.

Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?

A: They think their picture is being taken.

A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.

After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together."

The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."

There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.

Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of

an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of

the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she

thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane. Then

the last person took a bite out of a grenade and he thought it

was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane. Then they

landed and decided to go for a walk. They first passed a little

girl who was crying and they asked, "little girl, little girl,

why are you crying?" and the little girl said, "an apple came

down and killed my new kitty". Next they passed a little boy

who

was also crying. And they again asked, "little boy, little boy,

why are you crying?" and the little boy said, "a lemon came

down

and killed my new puppy." Then they passed a blonde sitting on

the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked, "why are you

laughing so hard?" and the blonde said, "I farted and the

building behind me blew up!!!"

Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation. They get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning - though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf Of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of Justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.

The last one (you know it), a blonde, is strapped in and says, Well I'm from the University of Texas and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in.

It involves a bunch of chavs as well:

A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?" - The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said,

"Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."

Yeah me too

Don't appear to be too many uploading at the moment

Where are those blonde jokes then? Any forthcoming?

how do you drown a blonde?

put a scratch&sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

how do you keep a blonde busy?

tell her to go play in traffic.

Why are blondes like energy-saving lightbulbs? Because they're cheap and not very bright.

blonde takes a blouse into the dry cleaners, hands it to the person behind the counter, she gives her a ticket and says, thank you come again, the blonde says no its toothpaste this time you nosey *****

How do you kill a blonde?

Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool.

how do you keep a blonde entertained?

put her in a circular room and tell her to go to the corner. :L

how to occupy a blonde

give him or her a two sided note card with "see other side: written on both sides