How could I do this if I loved my husband?

If you want your marriage to work - absolutely tell your hubby! Why? -- Because that guarantees you are over the ex AND you will not be contacting him... if you hide it from hubby - then you KNOW its wrong and you are just keeping the obstacle away...

Why did you get married...? You know attraction is probable for everyone - even for your hubby... it's how we handle it (or do NOT handle it) that matters..

I always go back to the old rule of 'do unto others'... if your hubby is open, honest and faithful to you - do you have any idea how attractive that is to other women? You are showing a serious lack of appreciation.. and though I believe you when you say you really thought it was innocent -- I wonder, did hubby know you were meeting up with an old flame?

How would you want your hubby to behave if situations were reversed?

I don't know that you should tell your husband about it but, you should break all contact with the old flame before it gets out of hand and you really hurt your marriage.

If you feel confession is good for the soul go a head and tell your husband just what you said here. You realized you were about to make a big mistake and stopped it before it happened. At least he will know that you are honest and have a tender heart toward him because you didn't have to tell him at all.

And you didn't want to keep any secrets from him. It will let him know you are not perfect being a human as we all are and give him a chance to forgive you. How graceful he takes it will be a clue on how much he really loves you.

You were smart enough to pull away from the kiss and you put an end to all contact. Personally(and this is just me and how I am) I would be honest with your husband about the kiss to avoid gossip,rumors or even that old flame becoming spiteful at the rejection and creating stories that will be much worse than a little kiss. I agree, you shouldn't have met up with him but you messed up and are human. Forgive yourself and just don't let it happen again. If the old flame continues to contact you, tell him that you are married, love and respect your husband.

If it's simply friends with an old flame, that's fine, and it wouldn't mean you didn't love your husband. But did you feel something for the old flame, either being around him or when he kissed you? It's good that you pulled away, though, so I think you did the right thing.

If I was in your shoes, I'd tell my husband. I'd likely be fretting over it, and just having been honest would likely make me stop worrying about it. You didn't intend for it to happen, and he kissed you. He'll understand.

Hey, look. You and your hubby are adults. You aren't children. Had this occurred during your high school years maybe this would be something to be concerned about but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say this isn't the end of the world. As you said, this other guy was an old flame of yours, someone that you once had feelings for. I'm a firm believer that once you dedicate your heart to someone a part of it is always going to care about them. That's not to say you don't love your husband.

Your husband is the one you decided to devote your heart to for the final time. And that isn't one sided, it's a two way street. If you truly met your old lover innocently, and it was he who initiated the intimacy, you really don't have anything to feel guilty about. As you said, you cut ties with him awhile after that correct? It isn't as if you broke your vows. The healthiest thing to do is tell your husband. If you guys are really in love then he'll understand. Not to say he won't be jealous though.

Hello,

That's really too bad that you put yourself into that situation. There are no friends of the opposite sex that I would see without my partner present.

We are made to be attracted to who we are attracted to. The thought that you would never find another human attractive is dishonest, and if you've thought that in the past, now is the time to wake up. Attempting to hide feelings will not make them go away, instead they will fester and put pressure on your subconscious.

Break off all communication with the person, lose their contact information and if you are contacted by them, make it exceedingly clear that you will be having nothing to do with them. Give yourself some time, but do tell him. Choose your words very carefully; be direct, not beating around the bush. If you are having marital issues make sure he knows they are not part of what happened; the advancement was not welcome, but you did put yourself into a very bad position which will never happen again.

If he is reasonable, he will be hurt but will understand. I do wish you the best.

Peace.

I would let sleeping dogs lie. If you didn't have sex I wouldn't say a thing. What would be the point? To hurt your husband?

And yeah, I have to wonder why this was so enticing to you? Why couldn't you have invited your husband along for a dinner out with an old friend? You say flame though so obviously you wanted to keep this private-away from your husband.

But only YOU know the answer to why you did it.

Would you want your husband to tell you? I think you could have done it because either this man gives you something your husband doesn't or because something is missing between you and your husband. Sex? Mystery? Excitement? Try doing something with your husband that you did with this other man that made him so interesting to you. And just remember your past can come back to bite you in the a**. so ask yourself if you would want him to hear it from you or someone else.

You played with fire and got a 1st degree burn. You pulled away, and eventually cut off contact before more could happen.

It's natural to want to feel wanted and attractive, even if it's from someone other than your husband. It's wrong, however, to act on it.

Take a look on this site - you could have done far, far worse. Don't tell your husband. Just don't have anything to do with this guy anymore. He has no respect for your relationship.

It's normal to want other men, but to act on those feelings...see a counselor. Only you can uncover how you really feel with professional guidance.

With all due respect, it sounds as if you are seeking consolation or justification. I know that is not what you want to hear, but there is a lot of justification in what you write.