What is the funniest "Malapropism" you have heard?

"Your ambition - is that right - is to abseil across the English channel?"

Cilla Black

We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile."

George W. Bush

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."

Dan Quayle

"I might just fade into Bolivian, you know what I mean?" Mike Tyson, Boxer

Funny Malapropisms

Destitute on the game? Poor lass... she should up her prices!

anyway: just a few malapropisms for your appreciation: Doncha' just love cut and pastie :P

Your ambition - is that right - is to abseil across the English channel?"

Cilla Black

"It is beyond my apprehension."

Danny Ozark, baseball team manager

"Listen to the blabbing brook."

Norm Crosby

"This is unparalyzed in the state's history."

Gib Lewis, Texas Speaker of the House

"She's really tough; she's remorseful."

David Moorcroft

"And then he [Mike Tyson] will have only channel vision."

Frank Bruno, boxer

"Cardial - as in cardial arrest."

Eve Pollard

"Marie Scott... has really plummeted to the top."

Alan Weeks

"He's going up and down like a metronome."

Ron Pickering

"He's on 90... 10 away from that mythical figure."

Trevor Bailey, cricket commentator

"Unless somebody can pull a miracle out of the fire, Somerset are cruising into the semi-final."

Fred Trueman

"We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile."

George W. Bush

"The police are not here to create disorder, they're here to preserve disorder."

Richard Daley, former Chicago mayor

"He was a man of great statue."

Thomas Menino, Boston mayor

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."

Dan Quayle, Vice President

"Well, that was a cliff-dweller."

Wes Westrum, about a close baseball game

"If Gower had stopped that [cricket ball] he would have decapitated his hand."

Farokh Engineer

"We seem to have unleased a hornet's nest."

Valerie Singleton

"This series has been swings and pendulums all the way through."

Trevor Bailey, cricket commentator

"Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it."

Mike Smith, ordering a salad at a restaurant

"It's got lots of installation."

Mike Smith, describing his new coat

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RE:

What is the funniest "Malapropism" you have heard?

That is a word which sounds the same as another,but when used does not make sense

as in The Rival Mrs Malaprop,kept making mistakes,,

Eg ,,,she was a destitute on the game for years,,,,,!!!

thanks to Kat for idea ,Previous posting ,,,so funny

My late Aunt once told me " If I were an octopus I'd spank you with all my testicles"!!!!!!!!!! After that I always wondered if she were my uncle.

Lets go for a ride, I'll be the pilot, you be the alligator,

My mother's version of a song from the'40's which thank God I can't remember has this astonishing line ' I'm as helpless as a chicken up a tree' in her version

Mayor Richard J Daley of Chicago " we're not here to create disorder, we're here to preserve disorder", also " don't listen to what I say listen to what I mean"

I aspire to be the pineapple of perfection

Can`t think of a malapropism but my favourite Spoonerism is " he is a fart-looking smella .."

Electrocution lessons to help improve diction.

I much prefer the simple spoonerism, like a true shining wit.

After answering a question today on the subject, it reminded me of, "It's déjà vu all over again."

Have you ever wanted to ride in the Space Scuttle?

We go widow shopping at Christmas.

Rose P.

PS, come to think of it.....