Snooping your s/o's phone, email, facebook... justified or sleazy?

i am known for doing this. only because my bf gave me reasons to want to search his computer and phone because he cheated on me and i found him on online dating sites..i think if the person has cheated on you befor or they are acting wierd then that gives you the right to search their stuff. My thought is that she may be hiding something if she gets so mad but she also may be mad because she knows shes not doing anything and she wants you to trust her..

Anything I use is open for my husbands eyes at any stage, as I have nothing to hide. He is the same wit me....perhaps it is for this reason neither of us have the desire to look.

I don't look, never have. But if he ever did anything to give me reason to suspect cheating(and i am not an insecure of paranoid person when it comes to stuff like that)....You bet your @ss I'd look. That way I could stop wasting my time with a lying cheating SOB.

Snooping isn't good. especially if you are one of those people who has trust issues and cheks everything all the time but if its a legitimate cause for concern, who cares?

You have to ask your self is she getting mad because you keep looking and you yourself have admitted to finding nothing? was she always private or only recently? She may be hiding something, but she may just resent feeling checked up on.

If I had reason to, like if he was being very suspicious and weird, then hell yeah, I would look through that stuff! Example: my husband started new depression medication this summer, and was acting really weird. One day, he came home out of the blue and wanted a divorce. He had been working out of town, so the only thing I could think of was that he was cheating. I thought about checking his texts and things like that but never did. Thankfully, he wasn't cheating, just going through some issues with PTSD that I had no idea about. I'm glad I didn't look, but I thought the situtation called for me to do so.

But otherwise, no. I wouldn't just go look on his facebook just for fun, or check his text messages. I dont' see a reason to...I don't really care to, I guess is the thing.

My mother always told me:

"If you want to dig up dirt, all you're going to get is dirty."

I think its a trust issue. I would feel very violated if my s/o went through my personal information. Not because I had anything to hide, but because he didn't trust me to begin with...that would hurt. If he were to have suspicions, I would hope he would ask me and discuss things with me first, rather than violating MY trust for him. Its a negative spiral that destroys positive paths of open communication and no one is a winner in that scenario

Snooping is a form of control, and it's used when someone is insecure.

If you find something through the normal course of living together, that is one thing. But to be on the prowl for "evidence" is totally different... that makes you a creep.

If you suspect she's cheating, then leave. If you go snooping and find something you don't like, you're no longer an "innocent party".

I see nothing wrong with it. Just do it very discreetly…make sure theres no evidence that you’ve been snooping, that way they don’t feel like they are beign watched

Me and my SO have an agreement, that we can snoop without the other knowing, but just not to make it obvious, because it does tends to start an agruement…….. but it’s a mutual agreement.

(raising my right hand) I Brandy have snooped, is snooping and will snoop… just because…. Just because….. – last time I snooped was about 2 weeks ago.. just because he left his phone lying and was bored….

I agree. It's only a problem if the person has something to hide. As far as I am concerned, all communication outside the family should be conducted like you are having it standing next to your spouse. Anything else is deceitful.

My thoughts run similar to yours. I think each person, in a relationship, are entitled to their privacy but I don't care if my SO looks through my emails or whatever. I don't invade his privacy like that nor does he mine.

Now if I had strong suspicions he was cheating then I'm going snooping.

I snoop all the time. If I didn't find something new to be upset about every time, maybe I would quit. For the time being, I don't trust him and he apparently doesn't care because he does nothing to try and rectify the situation.

when your married or in a committed relationship it shouldn't bother you unless there is something your hiding if your man/woman goes through your cell. Also if your intuition is warning you something isn't right then it isn't because with intuitions its usually something you observed from her anyway. Its always a good idea to check on the person your highly invested in, because one should know what there loved one is doing.