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needing help with my baby sister who refuses to communicate?
So I am not wanting to share many details so this will be vague but my little sister has been having teen troubles (she is 14) that range from as small as just not liking my folks rules to bigger things for a while now and she is very much withdrawn and basically refuses to let anyone in. A few days ago my brother called me in a panic over something she had said, it scared me so when she wouldn't talk to me on the phone I drove over there. When I got to my folks place she was crying but refused to talk to anyone and all she would say is that she will not talk to anyone and we just need to stop caring because she will not say what is bothering her so much. The only thing that I could get her to agree to is that she would come stay with me at least till the end of Christmas break. I thought maybe a different environment and a break from the everyday life at home might help her with...something. My husband and I sat down with her the next day and asked her basically what she was wanting to get away from, why she is so hateful to our folks, how we could help her.....we literally got no response. I have no idea if me having her stay here is helping anything! she will talk a little about light stuff and goof off with me but if I ask her any question that is at all serious to her she shuts down and says she doesn't want to talk about it. Is there anything I can do to make her really see that my heart is only to help her? our whole family is just kinda dumbfounded by her extreme lack of communication and we have no idea how to even start any type of conversation because all we get is " i dunno" or " i don't care" even when just asking her about simple christmas presents! "what do you want for christmas?" ..." I don't want anything, don't get me anything" its frustrating.
I am 8 yrs older than my sis so when she was little I missed out on quite a bit just because I got busy in my own teenage drama and than ended up married at 18 and I just lost her somewhere...I want my sister back! did I do the right thing having her come stay with me till only God knows when....
2 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
She sounds like she is having major issues. I mean, like depression (the not caring about stuff, withdrawing). My best suggestion would be to take her or convince your parents to take her to a psychologist who she can talk to. They would know better how to approach it, and make sure they specialize in teen girls.
Otherwise, you could write her a letter that expresses your concerns about the fact that she is so sad, withdrawing (don't say anything accusatory about what she is doing, just the symptoms that worry you), that she can trust you to keep what she says in confidence until she decides how she wants to proceed, that you won't force her to do anything, that you won't judge, and that you just want to listen when she is willing. Who knows, maybe she can't say it, but when she sees a letter she will think about writing it. Or maybe that will be enough of a confidence booster in you that she will approach you.
Or, you could just assume that she doesn't for some reason feel comfortable telling someone in the family, so suggest that she talk to someone like a guidance counselour at school or ask her if there is someone else she wants to talk to (like a family friend) and help her get in touch with them.
- 1 decade ago
Don't try to do this on your own. Please seek consoling for her. Family members are not qualified to handle things when they get too far. I have a little brother who when he was 17 became really angry. He stopped talking, stole money, became obsessive with girls. Nothing changed, things got worse until the police arrested him and he got taken to a county hospital for evaluation. There he received consoling. He started getting better from then and now he's doing fine. During that time, I spoke to a lot of people, many told me how someone in their family or relative had similar problem and how they got help. It's not unusual, please get her help.