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what can i do if my ex is playing mind games with my kids?
my 15 year old son just told me in a quiet voice so no one would hear that his father didn't have any money for christmas gifts because he was paying (ME) too much child support and that he didn't even have any groceries....blah blah blah. this man has been playing mind games with my kids for years and has brainwashed them into thinking that i personally have made his life hell because he pays me child support. how do i turn this around
i am unemployed no income at all (jobless) for the first time in years yet i provided christmas gifts - i have no atty so in court they calculated his cs to be much less than actually should have been -the issue is not child support amounts because we do it strictly by income and guidelines, i never ask for anything more than what the court says my son is entitled, i advocate for my son and it gets spent on him- but his dad never has to provide his income they always calculate by what he and his atty estimate to be and it's always lower than what he really makes (for example, he works 20 hours a week overtime in a factory but they calculate at 40 hours a week flat)
in other words, i make $0 a month, his dad probably makes $3,000 a month
4 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Above all else don't bad mouth the father (as much as you want to and he probably deserves). Your son is 15 and sounds old enough to have a mature conversation about how much you get for child support and hear the surface problems of you marriage/relationship so he can understand where you come from without looking like you are trying to make his father (which sounds like a scum bucket--like my ex) look bad.
It sounds like your son is not taking sides because if he really believed him he wouldn't have warned you in a quiet voice but be rude about it after hearing what you ex has said. If you tell him the truth and don't bad talk or sugar coat it, your son should listen and make his own choice.
There is a book that I have read that really help me understand growing boys (and has a section on this exact problem) that you might be interested in also. Being a single mother it gave me great insight. It's called "Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys" by Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson
- Anonymous1 decade ago
How much does he pay in child support each month? My ex was greedy and insisted whatever I was paying was never enough. And she always insisted I was making more money than I actually was, despite all the tax returns I provided to the courts. She was just plain spiteful.
- 1 decade ago
ur child is already 15 he will understand about child support, show him how much ur ex husband gives nd how much he earns. they understand about those topics already, also explain him explain child Support is his right whether his father likes or not, and gifts for xmas or bdays are something extra that they will receive from his father only if his father wants to
- 1 decade ago
Tell your kids child support is for them, if they ask why they can't get everything thing they want tell them its because they're daddy isn't working hard enough. Tell them your doing the best you can and the father likes to tell stories