Am I wrong to feel this way? Know it's way long but lots to cover. Please read I need help!?

I am so so sorry that you are going through this. It sounds like your wife is cheating on you with this band member, or fantasizes to do so. It doesn't sound like she has interest in you. She has it good at home- shoot, you do everything and probably pay all the bills. It sounds like she knew this about you before marriage and knew that she'd have it good once you two were married.

Bottom line, you don't deserve this. Have a true heart to heart and tell her what YOU NEED.

Wanting or needing sex is absolutely normal. He issues and hang ups sound partly due to self-esteem issues and part sounds like she's cheating.

If she has no desire to change, it sounds like the marriage will tank. STOP doing so much for her- let HER do things for you.

Your feelings here are quite normal and understandable. The way I see this is that she has already fallen out of love with you and is most likely trying to move on. I would say to try some tough love here to see exactly where you stand in all this. File for divorce based on irreconciable differences and have her served. Now you can stop a divorce anywhere along the process so dont feel that just by filing its totally over. Then watch her reaction and explain that youre tired of all this crap and deserve better from her. The worst that can happen here is the divorce goes through and your marriage ends but you definitely cant keep going like this in a one-sided relationship. Its obvisiousily clear that shes affixated on this band and who knows what will happen when she catches up to them. So now is the time to look out for yourself here and take your future into your own hands and see what is really going on and then move on from there. Its probably going to be the hardest thing youve ever done but if she doesnt love you anymore then why stay. Also by stating the things you do, youre an ideal husband material and many women will want you. Good luck and Happy New Year

She sounds like she's putting all of her attention and affection into this band in la-la land instead of her marriage in the real world.

You never mentioned what band it was, but I certainly hope it's a good one, considering she's throwing away her marriage for them.

Have you tried marriage counseling?

There's SOMETHING going on with your wife that's causing her to put all of her attention into a band instead of her husband, who clearly loves her and is at least trying to put an effort into making things better.

You have every right to feel neglected and unloved. A relationship, married or not, is 50/50, give/take. You can't be expected to give everything that you have and get nothing in return and still be happy.

Have you tried speaking to any of her family or close friends?

Maybe she's told them something about the marriage that she can't tell you.

Maybe you need to make a date night. Maybe a couple years of marriage has made her fall into the comfort zone where she no longer feels the need to impress you with lingerie or surprises. A date night would bring the spark back like you were on your first date again.

Have you actually tried sitting down and TALKING to her about how neglected you feel? Women, most of the time, are pretty in-tune with feelings. But if she's at the point where she no longer cares, then she's not really taking the time to notice how upset you are about the state of the marriage.

Sometimes - you have to just come right out and lay it all out on the table.

If you'd like to be creative (and have the guts to try it) you could always surprise her when she comes home one afternoon by being a look-alike to whoever this singer is that she loves...?

Depends on how far you want to go to try to save your marriage.

I do respect him and I'm not bashing him. I'm simply stating something thjat happened. What happened was a man who had serious head injuries from his career and wasn't in the correct state of mind and did something "crazy" (for lack of a better term). Nonetheless, his actions costed his own life and his son and wife's life and for that, I've learned to stop trying to defend him because,as great of a wrestler he was, that doesn't change the fact that he murdered to people, like it or not. Do I think he wanted to do it, no. But I still can't believe people bag on Mr.McMahon so much. You are asking him to throw away his reputation as a business man to, what the idiotic media calls it, "glorify a murderer". That is A LOT to ask of a man. You try being in his situation. It's so easy to say you would but most likely you probably wouldn't. Again, I love Benoit as a wrestler and as a person but that doesn't mean I am letting my self be blinded by his wrestling skills to realise what he did. BQ: Concussions from wrestling. He did alot of head butts, whose to say alot of those didn't hit for real. Also, some wrestlers take steroids to help with medical conditions. That does sometime contribute. I think after he realised what he did, he had gotten to a calmer state of mind and realised that what he did was wrong so, as punishment, he killed himself

Sorry, but you're the idiot that let's her treat you that way. I double apologize, but truth hurts and it sounds like you guys married way too young. She's sounds sick(depressed), immature and so not in love with you. You letted her do everything she wanted all this time. Why are you complaining now? This relationship won't get better, it will get worse IF you don't do anything to stop her crap, NOW! If she doesn't change her attitude, then just teach her a lesson and leave her. 'Nobody knows what they have until they loose it".

But another thing, if you're a masochist, and like pain and to suffer, then that's the right woman for you. To treat you like you're nothing. Where is your self-respect? Huh? Wake up! You sound like a very attentive and caring guy. But you can't live your life (if you call it life) this way. Enjoy yourself now, it's later than you think and you're just wasting time that you will never get back with a "woman" like this.

Whoa dude...... stop right now.... your a DOORMAT..... and you have to stop being one ... today! She disrespect you.... why would she respect someone she can walk all over?????? you dont have kids by the sounds of it so really, there is nothing keeping you there.... you said it yourself... no sex, your a slave, she loves this band and you dont even like coming home... so... move out.... divorce her... or maybe not divorce yet but definitely move out and tell her exactly what you said on here but without coming off as whining... just simply say " i dont have a wife anymore and frankly I am tired of this, life is short so I am moving on, you can have your band and your onlin life" . I was reading your post and shaking my head.... listen, I would lose respect for you too.... with women, you have to be the man and i dont mean a jerk, I mean stand up to us...... and pull back.... your doing the opposite... your like a puppy trying to do good to get her attention.... why in the hell would you run around looking for anything regarding this band???? You should tell her to get it herself and you should also tell her that if the band is so important to her, move in with them......

I have been married twice and I am 42 years old, well-educated and would totally take advantage of any man who did all my bidding, not because I am manipulative or cruel but because I am human! My husband although a nice guy and is very good to me, would never in a million years let me treat him that way, he would divorce me and I know it. As for the sex and the not wanting to get dressed in front of you... well, thats just marriage and her feeling not attractive I suppose.... familiarity does that over time..... trust me but I got kids... if you dont have kids, not sure what happened there... did she gain weight??? as women age they get very self conscious and dont want anyone seeing them naked... and if she is depressed she would lose her sex drive..... and well, maybe the fantasy is safe to her... she might be depressed and need help.... I dont know... this is one blog from you and we dont have her side so its hard to say but.... if what your saying is true, your contributing by being a doormat so stop it.... and if she is depressed your moving out will snap her into doing something about it.... asap.

good luck with this

I will give the same advice i would give a women, i had the same problem long ago with my husband feeling used and neglect. Well i packed up my things and moved out! If she really cares she will come crawling and begging for you to come back if not then you will know were you stand with her and move on, and start a new life. Life's to short to allow someone to use you like a door mat!

Sometimes you have to start off with the worst punishment.

Either she changes or you leave. Maybe you should go stay in a hotel for a few days.

You found the wrong girl. Dump her.

Get a mistress that wants it every time the clock coco's. Loves to go places with youi and are alot of fun.

How many lives do you have and when do you plan to start living?

Have you tried talking to her.. heart to heart? Have you tried asking what her issues are? If still, she does not respond or gives you the run-around, get a mistress!!! That might get her attention. ;-)

Good luck!!