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what do you do when you are attracted to someone and they arent but they enjoy calling you?
Basically,I met this guy and introduced him to my mates.At the begining i was flirting with him and got his number and thought it was reciprocated but later on i saw him flirting outside with my mate.Then i also insisted on fixing him up with my mates.Mostly because i thought he won't or wasn't interested in me.He finally ended up dating my mate for a few months, but nothing sexual happened and they ended it because she wasnt interested.(From the start she wasnt really interested,she knew i was interested in him though, but i insisted).Few months after he started calling me and having long phone conversations .Thing is i was always attracted to him,he knew i used to be,he always makes references about how compatible we could be,sexual references sometimes and calls me his number 1 as a joke.,But i always stop him and say we are friends.One minute he's flirting next he is acting like a friend.He always compliments me and i told him once i know what hes doing and he said he just acts as he feels,he has no plan.I have not met up with him and we made plans once he did not come through he said he was sick and he has never asked me out.He has suggested several times that i should visit him or he should me and i always decline i am busy and i dont like home visits.He knows sex is not an option and i have told him several times.He calls me all the time just to talk i never do call him.So now i dont know what to do i feel like hes teasing me and i feel like he knows i like him but he likes to see me suffer. I cannot remain friends with him because i am attracted to him and i like talking to him but its painful,because it never leads to anything concrete.I want to never talk to him ever what do i do please?Thanks
THANKS GUYS!! I will let go.
2 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
If you are ok with just talking to him the carry on, when it starts to hurt you emotionally stop answering his calls - forever.
You can't change anyone but you can change how you behave and how you let them treat you.
- 1 decade ago
It's a tough situation and I think most of us can say we've all been there once or twice, especially when we're younger.
You're right to trust your instincts, which I'm guessing are that he's immature, emotionally unavailable and a player. Classic case. The key is to NOT take it personally. He enjoys the chase and being seen as irresistible to women, but he can't commit. Any sign of commitment like what you showed him in the beginning days and he's turned off and moves on to the next girl. What's different about you to him is that you responded to that with rejection, being careful, trying to cut the bull sh*t and tell him what he's like - and i'd imagine he's intrigued by that - but the truth is he is still showing signs that he hasn't learnt his lesson and continues to treat girls like crap.
You need realise what he's truly like if you want to stop feeling attracted to him. Replace it with sympathetic pity. You will probably talk to him a few more times after that and he will see you pity him rather than him having a hold over you, then he'll have to face up to that (or carry on being an idiot, but to other girls). Do not taunt him though, however annoyed you get at his calls and things, and don't try to be friends either at the moment.
Oh yeah, and whatever doesn't kill you makes stronger, stuff like this will be easier to handle in the future because you'll see it coming.
