Asked my husband to leave, now he's depressed?

Dear Roberta,

I can relate with the guilty conscience of feeling like you made someone you love miserable to make your own life happier. But, in return, it is for your health, and your own well being that this must be done. In the eyes of the Lord himself, his word says the man is suppose to take care of his wife. Then the wife comes to take care of him. So, ultimately, the the man of the house is supposed to be looking after all the bills, and the hard labor to pay them off, and the kids and making sure they are supported. You are supposed to support him to do that, and maybe, a small job too. However, you ended up supporting the entire family including him...that's not OK. It is OK you kicked him to the curb. If you had to do it alone Roberta, you might as well do it alone. Does that make sense? If he must seek professional help, let it be so! You gave him chances! Do not allow him to manipulate your feelings to give him 1 last chance....he blew it all these years. Suicide, therapy, pills....sounds like he has not even tried to get his life together, Roberta. He only pitys himself. As soon as you take him back, he will go right back to same ol lazy larry that you know him to be. Be done with this man. Be his friend, be his ex wife, but do not allow him to manipulate your happiness!

Your mother in law would rather have you live with her than have you and your husband living in an apartment. If it would hurt her prestige to live in a rented apartment, imagine what she must think of where you and your husband live. This is not lost on your husband. His ego is taking a beating. You two don't have such a stable situation if you were living with your mom and he was staying with his mother several times a week. Can you afford a nice house? Ask your mother-in-law to go house-hunting with you and see if you can buy a house that she WOULD move into because she thought it had some prestige. Then she'll be able to brag to her friends that you want her to live with you and will tell them what a nice house it is. Move everyone in together and just deal with it. Your mother-in-law will run the house. You get a job, for God's sake, so you're not hanging around arguing with her. Your husband needs a stable environment. His mother and her entourage will provide that. She'll handle keeping your house in fine order. You and your husband will have a sex life again. You'll be out in the world working so you will have responsibilities that keep you from spending all your time at home with your mother-in-law.

First off you are paying for the children's education and have carried the family. Isn't alimony for people who carried the family and stayed with the kids therefore sacrificing educaiton and opportunity?. Sort of like payment to the sacrificial lamb of the family, Im sure you did not prevent your husband from working through out the marriage years. Do they just give alimony to leeches. If he has skills he needs to use them and if he doesn't Im sure you and the children didn't prevent him from going to school or aquiring the necessary skills to obtain employment. Was he raising the children? I personally don't think he will qualify and if he does it will be for only a short period. Get a good lawyer. As for his depression. Most people who are unemployed but who are used to working suffer some type of depression due to job lose and financial destress. They also have whats called adjustment disorder, that's when life throws you a curve ball like what is going on with you x. He will be fine. He is also manipulating the situation by telling the kids he will kill himself. I believe he is a pathetic loser who needs to stop trying to mooch off of you, especially since you have been rowing this boat all by yourself and doing a great job of it. He needs to get a job and a life. Threatening the kids with suicide is not a cry for help, its a cry for the next free meal.

Why should you have to pay alimony for this bum?

Is he not able to work?

Don't feel guilty about being rid of this sponger - and don't let him blackmail you with threats of suicide!

He is an unbelievably selfish jerk!

Get a good female lawyer to defend your rights!

Yeah, he's probably depressed that he has to go find another meal ticket. Holy cow, girl, you really have the patience of a saint.

Stop communicating with him. He's trying to guilt you into another 8 years of supporting him. Give him whatever and live the life you earned.

dont let him use the threat of suicide to get back in. sometimes a person has to pick their poison. so you can either have him back home, or let him go and pay.

the keyword here is " happier" !!!!! he will get over it, i say stick to your decision and file for divorce,

it's ok and sometimes happiness cost a little more than we THINK were prepared to spend, but you'll be better because your still alive and can can make that money back and so much more because ike you said it's YOUR BUSINESS and it's nothing to a boss.

If someone is threatening suicide, you don't look at them and say they are faking it, or just an attention whore. Get the guy some professional help already. Otherwise, you might regret it and your so-called happiness will hardly seem worth it.

If you asked him to leave, why do you care what he's feeling. I'm sure he's truly depressed.

he cant live without you....make him be a better man. i mean you were afterall with him for 21+ years