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how do you manage having few material possessions?
ive had ocd symptoms most of my life even though i haven't been diagnosed so far and it drives me mad. i have various personality disorders and co existing, severe anxiety disorders that im presently trying to get assessed for.
im now nearly 32, i live in a one bedroom apartment owning very few material items, except mainly my old custom built computer, because of the way my life materialised i never managed to achieve the things i wanted so far, being ; building relationships , having a job , getting qualifications etc.
never did any of that stuff , which i feel very bitter over , but i did survive trauma and adversity throughout life and events that were ' out of my control'. - i do, unfortunately have a prison record 11 years back and a long psychiatric history.
im presently working with mental health services to better my life , to achieve the things i want, to get a decent paying computer job , buy a home in a quiet coastal village , build meaningful relationships. - these are the things i strive for inspite of my circumstances or any adversity.
everyday , with my obsessive worries and ocd symptoms undiagnosed at present , i worry about :
what i want ? , what i dont have ? where my futures going ? how will future society affect me with a new world order ?
what if my social benifits are stopped or cut by government ?
health worries that i may or may not have.
i dont own this possession or that possession, want to invest in the latest balding treatment for men , available on private prescription, not on nhs , can i afford it ?
need bigger curtains for my living room.
dont have carpets for my apartment , not had carpets since i moved in 6 years ago , when will i be able to afford to buy some ?
my bathroom recently was rejuvenated by the council, crappy workmanship, only council standards , theres a crack in my bath , under an inch long , im not happy with it , will council replace it by the work company or will i have to save up for my own ?
i know it probably sounds ridiculous to you , but not to me , these are just a small example of the obsessive worries that i experience daily.
does anyone else have these insecurities or mental strains ? if so, how do YOU deal with it ?
9 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
The answer is much simpler than putting it into action.
The answer: is to become content with what you have.
How to do this? Ah! There is the hard part.
This does not sound ridiculous. I, myself, am not totally happy with were I am in life. I once had many more comforts than I do now. And that is quite a source of bitterness and even anger for me. How can I tell you how to deal with this if I have not managed to do so? Easy, I am going through the process. I know how hard it is to let go of these things. I have have people tell me the same thing. "Be happy with what you have" they say. I mutter something like "#@*^ you" or think "easy for you to say in your new car, fancy job, nice home, etc.
Start with something easy. What that would be, only you can decide. For example, the place I live in now. When I moved in I thought it was a dump, but it was all I could afford. Before long I saw that compared to other houses in the area, this really is not such a dump after all. The smaller yard takes much less time to care for. The broken down fence, does a very good job of keeping my dogs in the yard, and with just a little repair is beginning to look nice. Now that it is winter, I am really quite glad that I have this place and not still living in a tent like I was before I found it.
Friends. I have 1. One that I can truly call a friend. I have several people that I know, and they say that they are my friend. But there is only the one that I can trust no matter what. I compare the 1 to the many and see that it is better to have just one person that I can rely on, than to have hundreds that will let me down in a time of need.
Those are just a few examples of what I am doing to deal with my life as it is. How I am trying to overcome the bitterness, the resentment and anger.
Owning possessions. At one time, I owned a boat. I found that there was a price to pay for that boat. First off, I learned that a boat is a hole in the water that you keep throwing money into. I learned that I have many more "friends" when I have a boat, then when I don't. And I learned that having that boat did not make my life any better really. Yes it was fun and I loved it. But it was work too. Without the boat, my life is much simpler now. Less worries, less money I need to spend. My point is that there are many possessions that we want and covet, that we really don't need. Try taking a look at the things you wish to possess, and see if you really need them. Will they really make a difference in the quality of you life? Some of them will. Some of them won't. Try to look past the "I want it" and look at the practicality of it.
All I will say is that with carpets, you need vacuum cleaner and carpet cleaner as well.
When you say there is a crack in your tub. Do you mean it leaks? Or is it just cosmetic, a blemish? Unless it leaks, try not to worry about it. If you are like me, I have no friends coming over to use my tub, so why worry about how it looks? Actually, I don't have a tub. I have a shower and it did leak. I fixed it and it works great now. It does not look the greatest. But like I say, I'm the only one who uses it, so it doesn't matter.
It is easy for me to advise you to do all these things. But I can advise you because I have been through many of the same, or similar things. I know how hard it is to overcome what you feel. But I also know that it can be done.
Try to look at what you have and imagine how it would be to be without that thing. Like your tub. The dump I live in is much better than a tent or a cardboard box.
Try to look at what you don't have and figure out if you really need it, or just want it. Try to look for the problems that having that item could bring with it. Insurance, repair bills, gas, oil, tires for a car.
For your ocd, give this a try. Find something that you can compulse about. You mentioned wanting a computer job. I imagine that there is something you can learn to help you toward this goal. When you find yourself being compulsive, direct it toward learning this. Playing an instrument is another way. When you find yourself being compulsive, or feel it coming on, pick up the instrument and play it. You don't have to be good at it. But it gives you a more constructive outlet for the compulsion. Who knows? Compulse enough, and you just may get good at it, whatever it is, job, learning, music.
These things I suggest will be hard. Believe me. I know from doing them myself. It is d^%$ hard! But it is possible.
I hope this helps you find a way to deal with some of the issues you are trying to handle. You next, and best, step would be to seek professional assistance. Talk with people who could help you re-direct your compulsiveness, who can show you tricks on how to deal with it.
Remember, all is not lost. Most of it, maybe. But not all. (grins).
Good luck.
Source(s): Over 50 years of dealing with my own life. - KitLv 61 decade ago
Samantha above sounds like she has some good advice and you, now anyway, can always "talk" to her about things....
as far as dealing with your worries...try and leave the house for a few minutes each day, even if there's nowhere in particular to go. If you walk around the shops or stop by the park to sit for a few minutes...just get out of your apartment in general....have you ever noticed how nice it is to come back?
When you walk towards your apt. there's a bit of a better walk? Because now you have a definitive direction and destination in which you are going?
And when you walk in the door, even if the place is a mess, that it's so nice to be "home"?
Have you ever noticed that???
The last thing on your mind is that you still don't have any carpets even though the first thing you lay your eyes on is the bare floor when you open the door. Isn't that amazing?
You see, it's only when we're constantly assaulted with things that we perceive to be negative that they start to become obsessive to us, and then even begin to multiply....you'll start to find fault in everything....and the only thing that changes any of that is removing yourself from that "situation".
Get out of the apartment. Even if you meet someone unexpectedly the last thing on your mind is that you don't have what you think is to be enough hair on your head because you're just too busy saying "oh hey, how are you?...." and being engrossed in something else. It's only AFTERWORDS that the obsession of what the other person perceived when they saw you comes.
What you'll find, eventually, after you've left the house and talked to enough people is that these thoughts come fewer and fewer and fewer until eventually, hopefully, not at all.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
You seem to feel incomplete, so you are accurately reflecting the state of the entire universe. Well done! It's a good thing the universe is not complete, too. Otherwise, there would be no necessity for change, growth, progress and development. It's a good thing nothing is perfect, for the same reason. This may sound too abstract, but it's nevertheless quite obviously true.
Source(s): history - Anonymous1 decade ago
I'm in a somewhat similar situation.
About 10 years ago, I went from a 50k/yr career to disability.
I also went through a divorce and just wanted to die.
I got help and now live in a small, but clean and nice one bedroom apartment.
My standard of living is far different as after the divorce I had to sell our house.
Now I really count my blessings.
I have a roof over my head.
A dependable car that runs.
And more positive than negative in my life.
Sure I get really down sometimes, but I just TRY to remember I am far better off than some.
Sometimes it makes me feel better.
And sometimes, I just know the feelings won't last forever.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
different things worry people all the time. money is always a problem for people and always causes big worries. that all seems normal to me. life is full of worries and its hard to make them less important. but try focusing on the things that are more important to you. sometimes talking about it makes things easier. you feel less like they are stuck inside. do you have any friends you can talk to?? if not and you ever need to get things out then go to my profile and email me. im a good listener. i cant help you solve problems but it will give you a chance to get things out if you need to. just take everything one step at a time and things will work out. things happen for a reason. if your not diagnosed with something then move on from it and try to live your life the best you can. good luck.
- 1 decade ago
yea i have a lot of problems including a severe eating disorder, cutting, bipolar, almost all the symptoms of ocd(which i have had since i was about nine), well theres a lot. but i stopped cutting. believe it or not i cooped by making myself throw up. i don't recommend that, ever. go to a therapist and talk. ♥
- 1 decade ago
'Question: how do you manage having few material possessions?'
'The richest man is the one with the fewest needs.'
Source(s): Holy ****! Just noticed... -you s*m*o*k*e ?! !!