I wanted to be independent at 45?

I needed help badly. Thought I try it here first before I spent money on a therapist. I realize I depended too much to a point of obsession with my wife. I am driving her away due to my need for her being there for me when I need her. I will do anything for her without a thought of what am I doing at the moment. All I wanted to do is to please her. Seeing her makes me happy. As I'm typing this, I've already realize how focus I'm on her. I needed to ween myself from her! How? We have this big arguments recently and she said I smother her. I think I do. So What can I do to stop this actions? Are there self help books? Specific catergory of theraphist? Cold Turkey? I really needed to solve this obsession so I can be happy with myself and enjoy the world out there, Help?