Help me understand a quote?

This is from the book "Grendel"

Stood wriggling my face, letting tears down my nose, grinding my fists into my streaming eyes, even though to do it I had to squeeze with my elbow the corpse of the proof that both of us were cursed, or neither, that the brothers had never lived, nor the god who judged them.

If anyone can help me analyze this, that would be soo helpful!

This isn't homework or anything so you aren't helping me "cheat".

Thank you!