My for year old screams and cry's when she leaves me?

*cries not "cry's", that's incorrect grammar.

K ♥

I knew someone who did this... But it lasted until FIRST GRADE.

There was a girl in my first grade class who was dragged into her class every day, screaming, crying, hitting, kicking, and making a bit scene. She is still rather strange, and can't stand to be seperated from her parents. In fourth grade, she could not even stay the night at her grandmother's house. I think you need to stop this NOW. I would make it very clear that making a fuss is not going to help, and that you have to leave, and that she might at least make the best of it. If you have any, tell her stories about school that you have, and how much fun you had. Elaborate. Make her want to go to school, and make her excited. When she tells you about school, act as if everything fun or different is absolutely fantastic, and encourage her to have fun and to try hard to learn everything that she can.

It sounds to me like she is wanting your attention pretty badly. Could you set up a reward system for a special day with mom? Like, every time you ask the teacher if she was good during school, she gets a sticker, and when she gets 3 stickers, just you and she go out for her favorite treat together?

Also, you might want to talk to her and see what is going on at school. Children her age don't usually throw tantrums for no reason, they are usually frustrated with something and can't express it. Perhaps the other children are not including her or she feels the teacher is unfair. Talk to her, then help her address the problem if you can.

Good luck!

Right when she starts doing it LEAVE. She is doing it to get your attention. It's not about ignoring it, it's about removing yourself from the situation entirely. Once you're gone she wont do it anymore and once she realizes that kind of behavior doesn't keep you around longer she will stop doing it.

Also tell your family members to do the same. She has to get the same message 100% of the time: that this kind of behavior isn't going to get the attention she is seeking.

Also make sure she is getting plenty of socialization outside the house. If she's having separation anxiety issues she needs to realize it's ok to go out into the world without mommy.

Giving rewards for good behavior is a baaaddddd idea. She will come to expect them and feel entitled to them which in turn will only make her spoiled. Replacing clingy behavior with spoiled behavior is no good. Make her see that basic good behavior is expected, not something you're going to go out of your way to shower her with rewards for.

Just keep at it. You can't help but have to go to work anyways. Maybe make a "deal" with her. Offer her some sort of reward for being good. Make the reward continual for a couple of days or a week or two..and then eventually begin to stagger the days you give her rewards (this way she'll be good whether she gets a reward that day or not). Eventually, when she gets a little older, she'll see she can be independent of Mommy. GL!!

She has separation anxiety from you. Try to get her to socialize and interact with others more, so that she doesn't feel so alone when you're not around. Good luck!

I work in Head Start and we have a lot of kids like this. It is separation anxiety. Even if you have always come back exactly when you said you would, she still feels some sort of abandonment. The only way to get over this is consistency. First, you need to prepare her for what is coming up, and walk through it like it is a drill. Explain everything that is going to happen, in detail so she knows what to expect. Follow through with it. Don't tell her that you have to leave and hang out for another 5-10 minutes. Kiss her good bye and walk away. The teacher or caregiver will be able to calm her down within 2 minutes. It may be hard for you to watch and listen to, but it is for the better. Also, some children need visual aides to help them transition. She may also need to bring something familiar with her to school to fill the void while you are away (like a teddy bear).

To give you an idea of what I mean:

At home: "Sophie, we are going to leave for school in 5 minutes, would you get your shoes, coat, backpack and teddy bear together and put them by the door please?" (You may want to use a picture of her things sitting by the door, and a clock next to it with the time you need her to do it)

In the car on the way to school: "So, what is going to happen when I drop you off at school?"

Sophie: "We are going to go into the classroom" (use a picture of the two of you walking into the class)

Mom: "That's right, and then what?"

Sophie: "I'm going to hang up my backpack and coat." (a picture of her coat and backpack hanging up)

Mom: "that's right, and after you hang up your coat, what is going to happen?"

Sophie: "I don't know!"

Mom: "Oh, did you forget already? Let's look at your pictures" (show what she just finished, and what comes next)

Mom: "So what do you think is going to happen next?"

Sophie: "we are going to hug and you are going to give my teddy bear a kiss"

Mom: "then what is going to happen?" (have a picture of you walking out of the door, with a clock showing the time)

Sophie: "But mommy, I don't want you to leave!" -and she starts to sob-

Mom: "Sophie, I understand that going to school and being away from me is hard for you. You sound really sad. But I promise that I will come back at the end of the day. It is important for you to go and have fun at school. And Mommy needs to go to work."

Sophie: "why can't I go with you?"

Mom: "because my job wont allow that and it is more important that you are at school learning so you can come home and teach me things."

Sophie: "really? But mommy, you know everything"

Mom: "not everything my dear, I'm still trying to figure out how to get you to go to school without crying!"

Sophie: "oh"

Mom: "how does our plan sound? Do you think that you could be my big girl and give it a try? You will even have a picture of me, with the clock showing you what time I will be back."

Sophie: "I think I can try"

Mom: -praises the Lord silently, and then exuberantly in the car when the plan works!!!-

So, what you will need to do is talk with the teacher and see if they could help you prepare the cards that you would need. They should be hole-punched and put on a ring so they are easy to flip through.

1. At the front door with your child's things ready to go 5 minutes before departure time.

2. The car ride to school

3. The two of you walking into her class

4. Her coat and backpack hanging up at school

5. You giving her a hug, and/or kissing her teddy bear

6. You walking out of the door with a clock showing the time

7. You walking in the door with a clock showing the time

These are called sequence cards. If your child continues to have issues after you have left, then the teacher may need to make their own set of what their class day looks like. Most classrooms have the same schedule everyday.

Don't expect a change over night, but do stand your ground, make a plan and stick to it. Be firm but gentle at the same time. Be open to discussing what is going on with her- but make sure that she understands that it either has to happen before the time on your departure clock, or after you come to get her at school.

Let her know that you love her very much and reassure her often. Remind her that she is a big girl now, and big girls get to go to school and have fun and make friends.

I wish you and your daughter the best and I really hope this helps you.

Put tape on her Mouth! Unexceptionable. Maybe even glue it

give it cerveza